Wikipedia talk:School and university projects/ITESM Campus Toluca/State of Mexico

Comments about recent edits by ITESM students

The following comments refer to the edits made by me as shown in this diff

1. "The codexes were images" - No they were not, they were pictorial. The difference here is that to say that "the codexes were images" is to suggest that each codex was an image. Is this true? Or was each codex a set of images? If the latter, then one should say, "the codices were pictorial". (NB: the plural of codex is codices, it's a Latin word)
2. "Mexicas = Aztecas" - aside from the fact that this is not true, this is not a sentence. If you want to say something like this, you should say "The name Mexica refers to the same group of people as the Aztecs". Except you shouldn't say that, because it's not true.
3. The first Spaniard's incursions - this is awkward, it's hard to explain why except that the "first Spaniard" refers to an individual and the incursions involved groups of Spaniards. This sentence could also have been written "The first Spanish incursions....".

   Also, the first two sentences of this paragraph can be combined into one sentence. Short, choppy sentences can make reading tedious. On the other hand, don't get carried away in making sentences too long either. 8-20 words is a good sentence. Any sentence over 25 words should be looked at a second time to determine whether all of that needs to be put into one sentence.

4. Franciscans, Augustinians and Dominicans - these are the English translations of franciscanos, agustinos and dominicos. Who is the Jesus Company? The Jesuits? (In English, the Jesuits are members of the Society of Jesus.)
5. Town of Toluca was determined a city - this is not colloquial English but I'm not sure how to improve it. "declared a city" is better but not great. perhaps "was granted the status of a city" is better. In the U.S., we would say "was incorporated as a city" but that's something that the citizens of the city do. I'm not sure what the legal term is for what the king of Spain does in declaring a town to be a city. I think that the king of England would grant American colonies a charter and then colonies would grant cities a charter. I'm not an expert on this kind of stuff, though.
6. Miguel Hidalgo - once again, avoid short, choppy sentences
7. made the army of Trujillo flee - this is OK but "put the army of Trujillo to flight" is a little bit more sophisticated (well, almost too much so for Wikipedia)
8. Mexico city - this kind of issue with capitalization is hard to get right in another language. Whenever "city" is part of the proper name of a city, it is capitalized e.g. "New York City" or "Kansas City".
9. principal attractions are conformed - this is not colloquial English. I would love to know how this is said in Spanish as I am not familiar with the Spanish idiom for saying this.
10. covered pools - I assume this means "indoor pool" as opposed to "outdoor open-air pool".
11. Lord of Forgiveness - you capitalize Perdon in Spanish, same rule applies in English
12. complements the tourist attractions - this is an awkward locution but I can't think of a better way to state it so I left it alone...

--Richard 01:05, 11 October 2007 (UTC)