Wikipedia:Peer review/St Pancras railway station/archive1

St Pancras railway station

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to take it to Good Article status in the near future. I know some of the references are dead, but I am working on replacing them. I'd like further suggestions for improvement.

Thanks, Rcsprinter (yak) @ 16:28, 11 February 2013 (UTC)

The map of St. Pancras' location includes anecdotal data regarding traffic that could perhaps be omitted. --LucLewitanski (talk) 23:39, 13 February 2013 (UTC)

comments from Tim riley

• General
  • Quotes – you need to standardise on single or double quotes; WP prefers the latter, for some odd reason  Fixed 16:20, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
  • Punctuation – you need to decide between the English form – St Pancras – or the American – St. Pancras. At present there are both to be seen.  standardized 16:20, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
    • It being a British station, I've fixed most of these to the British form (we don't add a full stop to an abbreviation when the last letter of the abbreviation is the same as the last letter of the word abbreviated) I have left a few alone: the hotel and the tube station are wikilinks to pages where the full stop is present in the article title; and one online source [1] also has the full stop. --Redrose64 (talk) 14:33, 23 February 2013 (UTC)
  • Wikilinks: please reread the Manual of Style section Wikipedia:Manual of Style/Linking, and note in particular "as a rule of thumb editors should only link the term's first occurrence in the text of the article", and remove your duplicate blue-links accordingly. For instance "Midland Grand Hotel" (four links) and multiple links to Thameslink, King's Cross St Pancras tube station, etc.  just one link each 16:20, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
• Lead
  • "celebrated" – a POV word; others would say "notorious". Better to use a neutral word such as "known"  word replaced 16:40, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
  • "the Queen" – but later you capitalise her definite article (and the Duke's). Lower case, as here, is better, IMO, but either way be consistent
• Overview
  • "impressive" is POV (others might prefer the adjective "appalling") unless you find a citation  word removed 16:40, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
• Location
  • You have told us twice in successive paragraphs about the Midland Grand Hotel
• Public art
  • "The sculpture received a poor critical reception" – Gormley's comment seems to me absolutely ad rem, but it does not on its own constitute "critical reception". At least one other citation is needed for this statement. You might like to consider this from The Independent.
• Requirement for a new station
  • "reach effective gridlock" – this raises the question "what is ineffective gridlock"
• Design and construction
  • "Regent's Canal at height, allowing" – if I correctly understand your meaning you don't want the comma here  comma gone 16:40, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
  • "Beer" – why capitalise two out of three mentions here?
    •  Done --Redrose64 (talk) 14:33, 23 February 2013 (UTC)
  • "with the Barlow's assistant" – is the definite article wanted here?
  • "the stations bottom level" – possessive apostrophe lacking  apostrophe added 16:40, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
  • "Additional advice" – in addition to whose?
  • "The current record holder for this is the Dallas Cowboys Stadium in Texas, USA." – no doubt, but (i) is it relevant and (ii) who says so?
  • "fronting the station, the Midland Grand Hotel began" – you need to close the subordinate clause with a comma  comma added 16:40, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
  • "and opened in 1873" – the construction didn't open, as this says; the hotel did  Fixed 17:01, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
• Grouping, nationalisation and privatisation
  • "After the sectorisation of British Rail" – means nothing to the general reader; either a wikilink or a few explanatory words needed here  linked to explanatory article 16:40, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
  • "Snow Hill tunnel, re-opened" – unexplained comma here  comma gone 16:40, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
  • "Thameslink" – linked twice in successive paras  Fixed 16:40, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
• A new role is planned
  • "Eurostar operation, Eurostar (UK)" – why italics?  whole piece removed; redundant 17:01, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
  • "LCR retain ownership" – see WP:DATED: better to have a date here
  • "The original reference design" – what is a reference design?
• Rebuilding
  • "King's Cross Thameslink" – linked twice in the same section
  • "According to a BBC Two series broadcast in November 2007" – and which cannot now be viewed. A verifiable citation is needed here: see WP:SOURCEACCESS
• International station opens
  • There are six paragraphs in this section, two of them consisting of one sentence each, and two with only two sentences. The effect is rather staccato; some merging of paras would be welcome.  merged 17:01, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
  • "the singers Lemar and Katherine Jenkins" – might be safer to list these two the other way round, to avoid ambiguity; it looks at first glance like the piping for a couple such as Ike and Tina Turner.
• Hotel
  • "It held its grand opening" – the hotel, presumably, rather than the Manhattan Loft Corporation, as appears from the prose.  Clarified 17:01, 26 March 2013 (UTC)
• Services
  • I recommend pruning all the many blue links in this section that are duplicates of earlier ones, such as Thameslink etc, or are duplicated within the section, such as Luton, Southeastern etc.
• Great Northern
  • I think it might be helpful to your readers to give an example of the northerly or eastern termini from which one will be able to travel direct to Sussex and Kent. You might like to consider WP:DATED here too, perhaps saying "It was announced in XXXX, 20XX, that ...", which will always remain true.

That's all from me. Happy to discuss any point if wanted. – Tim riley (talk) 10:13, 23 February 2013 (UTC)