Wikipedia:Peer review/List of Norwegian monarchs/archive1

List of Norwegian monarchs[edit]

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A script has been used to generate a semi-automated review of the article for issues relating to grammar and house style; it can be found on the automated peer review page for June 2008.

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I am stuck and don't know how to improve this list. Any input is appreciated.

Thanks, Crzy cheetah 02:33, 21 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments:

The lead needs a copy edit. I do not understand this sentence, for example: The Norwegian territories were not organized until around 860 and were ruled by jarls. Did the jarls rule before 860 or after? The article on Norwegian jarls only really mentions them in connection with kings, but the king presumably ruled then, right?
To improve flow, short sentences could be combined with others or expanded, for example: Harald Fairhair organized all of the territories and created the Norwegian Kingdom [in 860?], and later founded the Fairhair dynasty.[1]
These could also be combined: In 1814, Norway became an independent state and maintained its independence for several months. At the end of the year, Norway was forced into the union with Sweden.[3]
Tense seems odd in Since 1905 Norway is a constitutional monarchy and is ruled by the House of Glücksburg.[2] How about Since 1905, Norway has been a constitutional monarchy ruled by the House of Glücksburg.[2]
Last paragraph of the lead has no refs but needs them for FLC
Instead of the odd symbols, why not D for Union with Denmark, S for Union with Sweden, DS for Union with Denmark and Sweden, etc. That would be clearer to most readers than @ or #
I would put a footnote or two for the general refs in the table headers
I would put the notes like Eirik Bloodaxe was the co-monarch with his father Harald Fairhair from 930–933 into the table itself (perhaps just as Co-monarch with his father Harald Fairhair from 930–933), but leave refs as footnotes
I would breifly explain the Interregnum in the lead
I would put an explanatory sentence or two before the list in Succession to the Norwegian Throne
Be consistent in image captions - I would link the King's name and have both their life dates and reign dates, so Oscar II (1829–1907), reigned 1872–1905
Why not give month and day for the 1814 to 1872 kings?
Notes also need a copyedit, so Guttorm Sigurdsson was four years old at the time he was coronated as the King of Norway. The earl Haakon the Crazy was appointed to rule the nation could be something like Guttorm Sigurdsson was four years old at his coronation; Earl Haakon the Crazy was appointed regent.
Please use my examples as just that - these are not an exhaustive list and if one example is given, please check to make sure there are not other occurrences of the same problem.

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch _><>°^° 04:38, 25 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]