Wikipedia:Peer review/BAE Systems/archive1

BAE Systems[edit]

I have worked hard on this article (with others of course) to get it to its current standard. I would appreciate the views of a wider audience regarding its quality, deficiencies and suitability for FAC. Thank you Mark83 00:22, 1 February 2006 (UTC)[reply]

The lead needs to be expanded, considering the size of the article. Also, knowing the major arguments on WP:FAC, some of the lists should be converted to prose. AndyZ 02:17, 2 February 2006 (UTC)[reply]

To clarify, to convert a list into prose is to change a list in bulleted form into prose, or just regular paragraph writing. For example:

No foreign person, or persons acting together, may hold more than 15% of the company's shares.

The majority of the board must be British citizens.

The CEO and Chairman must be British.

should be converted into regular paragraph form. Criteria 2(a) states: "(a) "well written" means that the prose is compelling, even brilliant". AndyZ 00:31, 3 February 2006 (UTC)[reply]

The structure of the article gets bogged down with corporate facts, I'd suggest a restructure along the lines of :

   * 1 History
         o 1.1 Formation
   * 2 Products
         o 2.1 Air
         o 2.2 Land
         o 2.3 Sea
   * 3 Recent Events (ie Major events since merger)
               + 1.3.1 Eurosystems
         o 1.2 Merger undertakings
   * 3 Corporate Information
         o 3.1 Major events since merger
         o 3.2 Future of Airbus shareholding
         o 3.3 Bribery allegations
         o 3.4 Financial information
         o 3.5 Corporate governance
         o 3.6 Organisation
         o 3.7 Joint ventures etc.
   * 4 See also
   * 5 References
   * 6 External links

Which would put the focus back on what the company does rather than its politics, leaving room for expansion of what BAE actually does. Would love it as Featured one day soon. --PopUpPirate 00:46, 8 February 2006 (UTC)[reply]