Wikipedia:Peer review/Ahmedabad/archive1

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Ahmedabad[edit]

I have tried and improved this article a lot. Now I need comments to nudge this article towardsFA. Most of the article is written in the format given by WikiProject Indian cities. - Aksi_great (talk) 14:54, 7 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Review by =Nichalp «Talk»=
  1. History starts off with a legend. Move the legend to the main article and summarise it into a single sentence.
  2. All names of people, places, corporations, institutions (proper nouns) to be wikified and stubbed.
  3. Was the fort city with a fort of six miles in circumference? That would make it one of the largest structures ever built. If I'm not mistaken it should be "Fortification"
  4. Conditions in the city were chaotic... Is this sentence necessary?
  5. A famine in 1630 devastated the city -- abrupt sentence. make sure that the sentence and the surrounding ones flow
  6. The history between 1900-present is sketchy. Expand on it by at least a paragraph. Recent events such as the 2001 earthquake and 2002 riots should be covered.
  7. It is positioned --> located
  8. It would be good to have Imperial equivalents to metric units
  9. Extreme temperatures?
  10. Lows in winter fall below 9C
  11. Expand on climate --> mostly dry, monsoons, fog/mist if any,
  12. Layout? --> City is one of contrasts: Left bank, old city, decrepit buildings ; right bank modern, with malls etc.
  13. May 1 --> Wikify
  14. There are only two main political parties -- only 2?
  15. Who rules the AMC?
  16. Police?
  17. Smaller stations like Maninagar, Sabarmati... -- not needed
  18. like Sharjah, Kuwait and Muscat ... Mumbai or Delhi. -- superfluous data
  19. What about private vehicles?
  20. Breakdown by religion?
  21. ...day on January 14 every year' If I'm not mistaken it is celebrated on Jan 15 on leap years. Wikify 14 Jan
  22. Domino's Pizza, Pizza Hut and McDonald's have also opened up -- not necessary to list them.
  23. Ahmedabad boasts of the only all-vegetarian Pizza Hut in the world. -- I dispute this. Please reference. There is a Pizza Hut I know of in (Girgaum) Chowpatty in Mumbai that is all-veg since it is in a Jain locality.
  24. Expand on culture: religious way of life/ mordern? Architecture, food (types of thali -- what do people like to eat? street food?); way of life; clothing; arts and music; cultural programmes?
  25. Avoid those headings in =Media=
  26. The Ministry of ... FM stations in Ahmedabad -- superfluous data
  27. Economy section needs to be expanded. Occupation of the residents? Major companies having HQ here, brief economic history? An additional para is needed.
  28. Copyedit needed
  29. Sports?
  30. Should be "River Sabarmati"; "Ahmedabad district" (note the capitalisation)
  31. District information needed.

That's it for now; I'll deep review later. Regards, =Nichalp «Talk»= 15:18, 7 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Reply by Aksi_great to Nichalp's comments

I have gone through most of the comments and have started working on them. I will go point wise just like you.

  1. Have shortened the legend
  2. Am starting to create stubs for all people and other stuff related to Ahmedabad
  3. Have corrected fort to "outer city wall" which were the words that I found in my book.
  4. Removed "chaotic.." sentence
  5. Have removed the "famine" sentence from there
  6. Post independence History - still do be done.
    Done - Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  7. changed to "positioned at.. " to "located"
  8. Imperial equivalents - to be done
  9. Can you clarify extreme temperature? If you mean the maximum and minimum temperature ever recorded, I have done that.
    yes, I meant that =Nichalp «Talk»= 08:31, 8 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  10. Lows in winter - to be done
  11. Expand on climate - to be done
  12. Layout of city - to be done
  13. May 1 - wikified
  14. About political parties - Well, there are 7 national parties and loads of other regional and unrecognised parties which fought the last assembly elections - but in true sense there are only 2 major parties in Gujarat - with all but 4 assembly seats going to them in the last assembly polls. Same is the case with Ahmedabad - out of 7 seats - 5 went to BJP and 2 to Congress. Same case for the municipality elections also.
    Breakup of major parties in the AMC =Nichalp «Talk»= 08:31, 8 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    Have added the breakup of seats in AMC - is that ok? - Aksi_great (talk) 18:43, 9 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    yup =Nichalp «Talk»= 09:04, 10 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  15. Who rules the AMC? - did not understand the question. Do you mean who is the head of AMC, or is it like "who rules the ruler?"
    head. =Nichalp «Talk»= 09:04, 10 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  16. Police - am still looking for information
  17. Smaller stations removed
  18. like Sharjah, Kuwait.. - removed
  19. private vehicles - looking for data
  20. Breakdown by religion - looking for data
  21. I am not sure if it is January 15 in any year - but I will still try to find that out.
    Makar Sankranti says that it is on 15th during leap years. I did not find any proof for that. I checked with the time-table of my school during 2000 and 2004. Uttarayan was on 14th during both the years. - Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  22. Removed names of fast food chains
  23. About Pizza Hut - it was my mistake. It was actually not the "only" it was the "first". I found that from 2-3 sources and have cited one article from The Hindu.
  24. Expand on culture - to be done
  25. Removed headings in =Media=
  26. The Ministry of " - removed
  27. Economy section - will expand it
  28. Copyedit needed - am not very good at that
  29. Sports - only section yet to be added. Will do that soon.
  30. Should it be "River Sabarmati" wherever there is "sabarmati river" or "sabarmati"?
    By convention the word river should be capitalised. Sabarmati is acceptable too. As far as River Sabarmati and Sabarmati River goes, the former is popular in Br. Eng while the latter is pop for Am Eng. Former should be preferred. =Nichalp «Talk»= 08:31, 8 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    Done. - Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  31. Did not add District info as I thought that such info should go into the Ahmedabad district article and not this one.
    Who many districts does Ahm consists of? =Nichalp «Talk»= 08:31, 8 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

That's it. I start work immediately on things still to be done. - Aksi_great (talk) 23:09, 7 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Review by -Ambuj Saxena (talk)
  • Confirm if the Gujarati spelling in the first line is correct. I don't know Gujarati but looks like one alphabet is missing. If its called something else in native language, mention it.
    Confirmed. It is the correct spelling. - Aksi_great (talk) 16:59, 9 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    I second that. It is correct.--Blacksun 05:44, 10 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • In the second paragraph, you can wikify "British rule" and link it to "British Raj". No need to add "see British Raj".
    Done. - Aksi_great (talk) 16:59, 9 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Wikify Gujarat Vidyapeeth in the lead.
    Done - Aksi_great (talk) 16:59, 9 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Popular revolts from peasants in surrounding districts to mill and factory workers in the city strongly affected the city, and the Salt Satyagraha and Quit India movement were especially strong in the city." - How's the first part of the sentence related to the second?
    Done. - Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Geography of Ahmedabad", "Demographics of Ahmedabad", "Culture of Ahmedabad", "Education in Ahmedabad" and "Economy of Ahmedabad" are still red links. How are they "Main articles"?
    Will populate all those articles before FAC. Will start work on them as soon as issues relating to the main article are resolved. - Aksi_great (talk) 16:59, 9 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • Expand discussion on Political Parties.
    Done - Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  • "An Indian classical music festival is organized by the Saptak School of Music which starts on January 1 every year. This series of festivals was inaugurated by a performance by Bharat Ratna Pandit Ravi Shankar in 1980." Explain why it is so important and notable to be mentioned in the Ahmedabad article.
This looks sufficient for now. -Ambuj Saxena (talk) 09:58, 9 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Review by --Blacksun 06
05, 10 May 2006 (UTC)
  1. In the lead, the article states that karnavati is an older name of Ahmedabad. However, then it goes on to mention that Ahmedabad was founded by Ahmed Shah. So, was Karnavati the older name of Ahmedabad or did another smaller city named Karnavati existed in the general vicinity? Rephrasing is needed. I suspect that stating Karnavati as the older name of Ahmedabad is misleading?
    Karnavati is an older name for Ahmedabad. It is explained in the second paragraph of the history section that "King Karandev I, ruler of Anhilwara (modern Patan), waged a war against the Bhil king of Ashaval. After his victory he established a city called Karnavati". Hope this solves the problem. - Aksi_great (talk) 10:07, 10 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    Well it is still confusing as it is stated that the city was founded by Ahmed Shah who obviously named it Ahmedabad. How can it have an older name then? Something needs to be rephrased.--Blacksun 16:23, 10 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    Done - Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  2. "Ahmedabad is often described as the Manchester of the East" - is it? Or was it used to be?
    This is a tricky issue. Wherever there is a mention of the textile industry of Ahmedabad, this phrase is always mentioned. I am sure that no one still describes the city as such, so can be used as past-tense.
  3. Some uneven wikilinking - why is information technology wikilinked and education is not?
    Have delinked IT for now. Served no purpose. - Aksi_great (talk) 10:07, 10 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  4. History section could require some more referencing, especially when stating things like "... virtually destroyed the city."
    Have put in an additional sentence to describe the state of things in the city at that time with the source - Aksi_great (talk) 10:07, 10 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  5. How about some recent history? Earthquake? Riots in past 5 decades?
    Have put in more details about post-independence history. Please check hisotry now. - Aksi_great (talk) 10:07, 10 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    Ok but still needs more work. The city of present is far different than stuff that happened 100-200 years ago. Yet their are only three-four lines on past 60 years. For instance, you can comment on the political landscape of the city. Maybe a line on the recent renovation projects. I am not sure but wasnt ahmedabad a major site for student strikes in the 90s? Also, their have been riots in Ahmedabad quite often and the article should reflect that. 2001 riots, however the worst ones, were not the only ones. I remember atleast four to five major riots between 1980 and 1995. --Blacksun 16:26, 10 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  6. It would have been nice to see some more information about the city. The article needs to do a better job at giving a sense of how the city has expanded - how the center of the city has moved over time or the differences between the old and new city etc. Actually, I am not sure if I saw anything pertaining to the growth of the city in the article. A line on parks like Law Garden and its culture might belong somewhere too. Basically, the article really requires an urban structure section.
    As I have said in the other reviews, I promise you that those details will be added to the article soon. Thanks for those comments. Please add more points if you find more issues. - Aksi_great (talk) 10:07, 10 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Review by --Dwaipayan (talk) 06
37, 10 May 2006 (UTC)
  1. History ends at 1960. where is 1970s-2000? Recent histories, including (as Blacksun pointed out) earthquake and riots should be there.
    Have put in more details about post-independence history. Please check hisotry now. - Aksi_great (talk) 10:07, 10 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  2. Geography may need a description of the urban structure.
  3. Economy - main occupations? Wikilink major companies.
  4. Civic administration - police?
  5. Demographics - slums? Sectarian instabilities may be given here. Crime stats.
  6. culture - attire. Literature, cinemas, theatres, architecture etc.
    All your points are taken note of. Most of them are already on my mind. Will start adding information section by section soon. Thanks for the comments. - Aksi_great (talk) 10:07, 10 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Review by -- Taxman Talk 12
21, 11 May 2006 (UTC)

Quite good, it's not too far off from featured quality.

  1. Some areas of infrastructure such as health care and hospitals, utilities (how reliable is power, water, etc) are missing. Given the lack of coverage for those, the transport section is relatively too long. Shorten that if possible to make room for the rest.
  2. Demographics glosses over income distribution. The only info on poverty is for the very small number of rural families, so that needs more. Either there or in Economy needs more info on cost of living, unemployment, etc.
    I have added the data about people living in slums. - Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  3. No mention of problems or current controversies in the city. There may not be the latter, and it shouldn't be covered if there's nothing important, but the former certainly needs coverage.
  4. Education needs some NPOV, instead of stating they are prestigious, give us the facts on why they might be considered that. Unless they would be prestigious by national or world standards, they probably can't be referred to as that. Also expand the education slightly. How many students do the Universities serve? I take it when you say large number of colleges you mean the british system colleges for 14-18yr olds like we would call high schools in the US. Wouldn't hurt to clarify if you can do it without it sticking out too much. - Taxman Talk 12:21, 11 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    By colleges I don't mean high school. Students go to college after high-school for their under-graduate studies. I will try to wikilink colleges to the indian version if any.- Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  5. If there are any books or other very high quality sources written about the city they would be very valuable. It's hard to have a truly reliable article with only web and newspaper articles as references. Government reports, NGO papers, etc would be good too. - Taxman Talk 12:21, 11 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    I have used 2 books also as my sources. I try and cross-check all facts with the books and with online sources. I only put online sources as the citations so that people immediately look at them. I even try to cross-check newspaper articles. - Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

INCOTW[edit]

Why don't we nominate (and select) this article for a collaborative effort, akin to Kolkata and Delhi? This will help reduce Aksibhai's burdens a bit. Rama's Arrow 05:31, 11 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

I could be the one to blame for that. I did not want to put it for INCOTW as there were lots of cities coming up there which was taking the time away from some really good articles like Culture of India (and now postal system of India). But that was back then - I have now realised that there is so much to do. But it is not as if I am getting burdened or something. I am really enjoying this. Much better than vandal fighting, correcting typos, and other stuff. It is just that it will take some more time this way. - Aksi_great (talk) 05:43, 11 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
I posted this idea after I noticed a comment by you that you were feeling a bit overwhelmed. You're doing great work, so now there is little reason to seek INCOTW. Sorry that I've not been of help lately, but I can now devote attention to helping you out. Thanks for your dedicated work, Rama's Arrow 19:47, 11 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
Review by --Rev.bayes 22
56, 11 May 2006 (UTC)
  1. Shahjahan spent the prime of his life here.. How many years? at what age?
    Don't know that. Couldn't find it anywhere. But it was when he stayed in Ahmedabad that Shahi baug palace. He once was the viceroy of Gujarat. - Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    Allright lets leave it at that.. --Rev.bayes 14:46, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  2. Ahmedabad became the provincial town -- should be "a provincial town"
    Done - Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  3. The sentence " On May 1 1960, Ahmedabad became the capital of the newly formed Gujarat " is slightly abrupt.. i.e. perhaps there should be a sentence before that saying Gujarat became a seperate state from Maharashtra.. also, on a related note - wasn't the state called Bombay - and was only called Maharashtra after the break-up?? I may be wrong. somebody please cross-check.. (Aaah.. that is actually true .. refer to the "Civic Administration" section)
    Have modified the sentence. How does it look now. - Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    sounds good. --Rev.bayes 14:46, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  4. GUYS!! the date of the earthquake is wrong.. It is 26th January, 2001 (republic day) and not 26th June,2001 as written.. (that value 6.9? is it authentic.. what is the source? because as far as I can remember, more than 1 value has been reported in the media - with the foreign weather agencies reporting much higher richter scale values? )
    Thank you very much for that. I don't know how that happened. Feeling ashamed of myself :). Have corrected that. About the intensity - all Indian sources said that the intensity was 6.9. As mentioned in 2001 Gujarat Earthquake many sources outside India reported different numbers ranging from 6.9 to 7.9. I have taken the official Indian figure into account. - Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    No problem.. these things happen sometimes.. I think the official Indian figure is good.. Good that one of us noticed it before anyone else. --Rev.bayes 14:46, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  5. Manchester of India.. should it be italicised?
    Is there any particular reason for that? - Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC
  6. 'Ahmedabad selects 1 member to the Lok Sabha' - what is the constituency called?? Ahmedabad? Ellisbridge? - please cross-check.
    I have cross-checked that. Ahmedabad elects only 1 member. The constituency is also called Ahmedabad. I don't think there is any need to mention the constituency names in the article. - Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    Yeah.. that is correct.. I checked that too.. Let's leave it at that. --Rev.bayes 14:46, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
  7. Transport - perhaps a small sentence on the new Ahmedabad- Baroda superhighway (or whatever it is called?).
    Done. - Aksi_great (talk) 08:34, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]
    great.. --Rev.bayes 14:46, 12 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

And, btw, good job Akash.. keep up the good work.. I am ready to improve/research/copy-edit the article or add new parts to it.

Andy123 's opinion,

I removed the reference to Karsanbhai Patel from the article, because IMO he does not have relevance to the article. I am also removing the reference to Arvind Mills been run by the Lalbhai family, because that would be much suitable in the Arvind Mills article itself. Also Cadila Pharmaceuticals and other major companies mentioned should be wikified. And I think it would be much better if we start working on the redlink articles, which have been referred to as Main article, and other redlinks should atleast have stub status. Ahmedabad Urban Development Authority has been wikified now. I also think that all the references to businessmen who are not popularly known should be removed from the article. The Economy part of the article greatly suffers from this. Other featured articles do not carry such references. --Andy123(talk) 09:19, 13 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

My review[edit]

Hi -

  1. I don't think the explanation regarding Chimanbhai Patel's resignation and Indira's imposition of emergency - which in fact needs more elaboration - is appropriate here. It would be better to just mention the disturbance in Ahmedabad, and not dwelve into national politics of the time.
  2. Gujarat riots I think its important to mention how the riots caused thousands of Muslims to live in segregated camps such as Shah Alam, and how the mobs had surrounded the chief commissioner's office.
  3. Urban structure I think its necessary to mention the subdivisions of the city, especially Bhadra, and how the old Ahmedabad is differing from the newer developments.
  4. All necessary forks and red links must be rectified.
  5. Economy somehow I feel there is missing info regarding the housing/construction boom, expansion of the city (especially along Sartej-Gandhinagar highway). It is also extremely important to address the problems the city faces - unemployment, poverty, illiteracy, etc. Plus, I'd like this article to note how Ahmedabad is economically linked with the capital Gandhinagar, Vadodara and nearby cities like Mehsana and Surendranagar - i.e., what is it's position in Gujarat, in western India?
  6. Demographics needs info on employment and economic characteristics of the population (see Bangalore's example). Plus, its important to dwell on inter-communal relations, especially the demographics of the Muslim community, etc.

I see no critical problems - the article is just 10% away from being comprehensive, dat's all. Rama's Arrow 03:36, 20 May 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Review by Doctor Bruno 18
37, 11 August 2006 (UTC)

One doubt. Which of the following is correct

  1. with a population of more than 52 lakhs (5.2 million)
  2. The total population of the Ahmedabad Urban Agglomeration (which includes the region governed by AUDA) came to 45.19 lakhs (4.5 million)
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