Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Battle of Mount Austen, the Galloping Horse, and the Sea Horse

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 03:24, 10 July 2008 [1].

Battle of Mount Austen, the Galloping Horse, and the Sea Horse[edit]

Nominator(s): Cla68 (talk)


Respectfully nominate this article about a Pacific War Guadalcanal campaign battle for FA consideration. The article passed an A-class review with WP:MILHIST. Self-nomination. Cla68 (talk) 05:09, 25 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • Comments "On November 5, 7, and 8 Tokyo Express missions" → "On November 5–8, Tokyo Express missions"? I'll find some more after werewolves have stopped chasing me. Gary King (talk) 05:26, 25 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
You don't like having the exact date of each mission? Cla68 (talk) 05:47, 25 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I'm dyslexic and didn't notice a 6 was missing. In any case, I still think a comma should be placed there. Gary King (talk) 05:54, 25 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Done [2]. Cla68 (talk) 06:12, 25 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments Sources look good, links all checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 17:44, 25 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Support - only two problems I can find with the prose on a scan of the lead and a quick read through of the rest.

  • Redundancy: "After making some gains during the day..."
  • More of the same: "At the same time, a number of Japanese riflemen infiltrated the"

Nousernamesleftcopper, not wood 20:38, 25 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • I appreciate the support and constructive feedback. I corrected the two sentences you mention. Cla68 (talk) 07:17, 9 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comment—Bordering on support, but I think some parts of the article could benefit from some judicious editing. Otherwise I only have a few concerns:

  • In the first part of the article, some sentences may be excessive in length and could read better if they were sub-divided. An example is the first sentence. My opinion of course; others may see it differently.
  • "the Japanese tried three separate times" --> isn't separate redundant? Perhaps not, but if so it's unclear why.
  • "The US was attempting to destroy the Japanese forces on Guadalcanal and the Japanese were trying to prevent this from happening." Is it necessary to state that the Japanese goal is merely to survive here? How about, "the Japanese were trying to hold their defensive positions until reinforcements could arrive", as was stated later in the article?
  • In the First Battle of Mount Austen section, the relevance of the two events to the decision to attack and secure Mount Austen is unclear. What have a raid and a skirmish to do with the need to take the Mount? The earlier discussion about Mount Austen seemed more to the point. Please clarify in the article.
  • Is there a reference for the participation of troops from the British Solomon Is., as listed in the infobox?

Thanks.—RJH (talk) 16:53, 2 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • I shortened several sentences in the intro [4].
  • Someone removed the word "separate" from that sentence.
  • I changed the sentence in the intro as you suggested [5].
  • I clarified the connection between those two events and Patch's decision [6].
  • I have referenced text in the article stating that British Solomon Island natives took part in the battle as supply/support personnel. Cla68 (talk) 07:38, 9 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments on images

  • I will be on vacation from now until 20 July, during which I will have intermittent internet access. I will revisit this nom as often as I can. Awadewit (talk) 00:09, 9 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • The first link is fixed [7].
  • The second link is fixed [8].
  • The third link is fixed [9]. Cla68 (talk) 07:58, 9 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support—Mostly pretty well written. An important and engaging topic. Now, there were just tons of autoformatted bright-blue dates—especially day and month alone. You have so many valuable links that I decided to remove the auto-lemon. Autoformatting is no longer encouraged (see MOSNUM). I think the result looks better and is easier to read. No one, let me assure you, minds US date formatting. And now we can have proper date ranges.
  • A few instances of U dot S dot, which is strongly not my personal preference, so just check that they are required because part of official military titles (divisions, etc.)—I suspect this is the case. Well done indeed. *Plus some of your captions need the lose the final period (Injured soldiers, maps, etc) TONY (talk) 12:01, 6 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • I appreciate your helpful edits to the article. I removed some periods from the image captions and went over it again to try to make sure no "U.S." remained. Cla68 (talk) 08:04, 9 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Support - I commented during the review of the article. It's well written, and the clear majority of the long sentences it once had have been broken up to make the reading easier. As a note, I believe Cla68 is currently on a short WikiBreak, which explains why he hasn't come back to respond to some of the comment made insofar. JonCatalán (talk) 18:39, 8 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • You're correct, I was away from a computer for almost a week but I'm back now. As soon as I get caught up on some things I'll be responding to the comments posted here. Cla68 (talk) 00:21, 9 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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