User:TheGreatJoshua/sandbox
Cory Bargemann[edit]
Cory Bargemann is an upstanding citizen originating from Dayton, Ohio; yet having been raised in Texas, the greatest Universe on planet Earth, He thinks he's hot shit. Of course he is, he has perfect grades and all that, but he lacks the one thing he needs most, the ability to call himself a Texan.
Cory Bargemann | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Pronunciation | Quarey Barge-manne |
| Born | Some day in October, 1998 Dayton, Ohio, United States, Earth, Milkyway, universe, Universe, Texas |
| Monuments | The Great Cone Of Cory (commonly: The Cory Cone) |
| Education | Some brick building elementary in El Paso
Cadet Academy for the vertically challenged Walnut Hills High (adding school is for nerds) ITTT because two t's isn't enough Oxenfurt Academy of Literature and Arts |
| Occupation | X-Ship Pilot in the 314th division
Doctor Professor at the Profession of Doctoring Incorporated University Nice guy you try to set up with your friend Wardrobe designer for whoever wrote Thrift Shop Homeless Man HoBo Trail Angel Sith Lord |
| Agent | 007 |
| Notable work | Descent Into The Hell of Cory
Eht Tibboh, ro kcab dna ereht niaga Russia: A choice, or inherent trait? |
| Height | 1 m (3 ft 3 in) |
| Title | Doctor Professor |
| Political party | Frat |
| Parents |
|
Christopher Nolan[edit]
Cory Bargemann is Christopher Nolan. He walks around pumping up the guy because he is Nolan.
Literacy[edit]
The 'man' you see before you is the master of words, he has become his own language. Not only has he repeatedly demonstrated his incredulous ability to comprehend the texts of our ancients, he has also written in a style so painfully perfect that it seems impossible to think anyone could call him "Math-Minded". Understanding this, we are able to analyze the influences on the young mind of "Quaray Borgessmain". He is a Vonnegut man, he reads his works and understands he is crazy too. He is a Tolkien nerd, having thoroughly read The Hobbit and The Lord of The Rings, he has grown to love the rich world of Middle Earth. He is a man that loves the classics, from Shakespeare, to T.S. Elliot, to Andy Weir, to Fitzgerald, to Salinger. Cory has read it. I believe he has even read The Communist Manifesto which he of course has translated from Russian to Texan for the common folk. Literacy is his roots, Literacy is his future. The next great piece of literature will come not form a college prodigג but from Cory Buorgeman.
Star Wars[edit]
This young apprentice was raised in the Outer Rim of the Texas system. From a young age, He showed extraordinary talent in the force. He was able not only to force himself to wake up every morning to trudge through his boring day of moisture farming, but also to force people to fake a mild chuckle to 98% of what he said. (See Slagh's Law) A powerful master named Lone Bull found our young Coree on the path, and took him under his wing. Cory trained with Bull for 9182374 Ohm-Farads before Coree discovered that Bull was his father. Cory did not allow himself to believe the facts he saw and instead joined the rebellious empire army as a pilot in the 314th. Stories of his flying ability are told even to this day.
"His Skills were so legendary even we feared him."
- Commander Meach McCandless
"On a supply run to Kessel, he destroyed over two hundred ships in under 7 parsecs."
- An injured Army pilot found crying in space next to his destroyed ship
"He was dishonorably discharged for lack of ability"
- Acting Commander and Chief, Christoff Pratt
After being shamed by the entire rebellious army, he wandered alone listening to the wanderer, wondering why the song didn't match his mood until one day in mid rocktober, he found a large humanoid shaped hairball with a crossbow, and he said, "I'm gonna make you my pet!". He travelled the galaxy in search of anyone gullible enough to pay him to smuggle goods. This continued for many years until the mass of fur died dramatically in a ball of fire.
Two weeks later, he was the Emporer and Sith lord, Darth HoBo.
The Order[edit]
Cory Mikhael Bourgeoisie-Man rose to prominence in the cabal known as The Order of Capricorn.
His position is unknown. His power is unknown. He is known only by one name, HoBo.
Musicianship[edit]
Cory is the best Alto saxophonist in THE WORLD, or at least in some places, maybe. His influences include the only jazz album he knows, The Colossus by Sonny Rollins, as well as every classically composed work that has ever existed, mainly Bach and Stravinsky.
Sax[edit]
His Sax is a steel grey machine made out of pure sound. Each morning it wakes up, and sings a beautful melody of fourths composed by the great Jonathan will I AM. EVERY FREAKING MORNING/AFTERNOON.
Taste[edit]
The eccentric taste derived from this young grasshopper is a whole bunch of stuff that i'm too tired to list out because I've spent way too long on this page.
He's a Jersey jEW[edit]
who's mother is a wonderful cook, and who's ancestral home contains magnificent sea food, in the form of groud up horses and suger. They are a rare delicacy known as Swedish Fish; this, however, makes little sense as they are from New Jersey.
Slagh's Law[edit]
Slagh's Law is a scientific principle that originates in the sociological field. It is a way to explain the lack of true humor in the world. It states that only 2 percent of attempted jokes are truly laugh worthy and the other 98 percent pretended laughed at during the joke. An individual who truly exemplifies this joke is Cory Bargemann where the law was inspired from. Credit is also due where it is due: Jack Meacham gets e percent of proceedings. Category:1998 births