Talk:Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (video game)/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: –MuZemike 00:08, 3 February 2010 (UTC)
- Prose issues
- Proper names of websites:
- Gamespot → GameSpot
- Gamepro → GamePro
- Playstation → PlayStation
- Gamespot → GameSpot
- You missed some titles which need italics: Smash TV and Cannon Spike are examples. Go through again and italicize video game titles
- "Luxoflux" is a game developer (should be wikilinked, even if a redlink) and should not be italicized.
- Quotes are normally not italicized, like you have at the end of the 1st paragraph of the Autobots subsection.
- "Deathmatch" should be quoted and not italicized.
- In the Development section:
- A two player survival mode allows players to select their characters and survive as long as they can against waves of enemies. → So two player survival mode allows players to survive as long as they can? When read like that, it doesn't necessarily make sense. Can that be tweaked?
- Reworded
- The robots in both versions each have a special move which involves that character transforming temporarily. → sounds a bit wordy. Can you tweak it and make it more concise?
- Reworded
- In the Audio subsection: Most notably, Frank Welker,... in both live action films. is a bit long of a sentence. Can you split that up into two sentences or portions?
- Reworded
- In the PS2 and Wii subsection, The game ends with the destroyed pyramid being rebuilt by the Autobots, and Megatron and Starscream observing the creation of a massive Decepticon army now under their control. → Try to avoid instances of noun plus "-ing". A better way to write this (and similar instances) would be something like At the end of the game, the Autobots rebuild the destroyed pyramid, ....
- Reworded
- A two player survival mode allows players to select their characters and survive as long as they can against waves of enemies. → So two player survival mode allows players to survive as long as they can? When read like that, it doesn't necessarily make sense. Can that be tweaked?
- In the same above subsection, Jetfire then goes to the desert, where he finds a weak energon signal, made by Optimus, who flew the escape pod to Egypt. → It sounds like the energon signal flew the escape pod to Egypt (when you mean Optimus). Can you tweak that to clarify?
- Reworded
- In the same above subsection, Optimus and Megatron battle, ending with Megatron and The Fallen seemingly killing Optimus. → Same "noun plus '-ing'" problem.
- Reworded
- In the Autobots subsection, Upon his defeat and before Optimus destroys him,... → sounds a bit redundant to say both. Can you combine that or perhaps cut out the "upon his defeat" part?
- Reworded
- In the Gameplay section, you used the second-person "you" (the objective is to take out the enemy leader (Optimus Prime or Megatron) while protecting your own.), which is a no-no. Needs to be third-person.
- Reworded
- MoS issues
- Per MOS:PAIC, inline citations go after the end-punctuation. Please correct those instances where they are before the end-punctuation.
- That 1st paragraph in the Reception section may be a tad over-cited. Normally I would place this under the "other things to remember" section, but I'm afraid that the overabundance of citations there may put off readers. Along with eliminating redundant citations (see below), move those inline citations that are mid-sentence to the end of the sentence or after the nearest end-punctuation. For the ones in which you have multiple citations, try to only use the one (or two if absolutely necessary) references that are of the highest quality.
Some citation issues:
| Individual citation issues |
|---|
|
- Verifiability issues
- The 2nd half of the 2nd paragraph in the Development section is not sourced. It also sounds like it's original research.
- That very last sentence in the article is not sourced.
- A few of your quotes, especially in the Reception section, do not have citations afterwards. You need to have a citation after every quote, even if it may cause redundancy (as I said below, unless quotes are involved).
- In the Development section, The game involves heavy shooting action, and no transforming whatsoever. is not supported by the source given.
- Removed - there's not much out there on the PSP version, so I just cut the sentence.
- In the lead, The PS2 and Wii versions combine the Autobot and Decepticon stories into one campaign that alternates between factions, similar to Halo 2. → The end, similar to Halo 2, is not mentioned in the article body. It needs to be sourced or alternatively removed.
- Removed
- Image issues
- Some of the captions have end-punctuation where they shouldn't. Per WP:CAPTION, if the caption is not a complete sentence, then it doesn't get end-punctuation.
- Other things to remember
Note: this is not counted against this GAN, but the following are recommend to correct, especially when this article approaches FA.
- Unless quotes are involved, you only need one inline citation at the end of what you're citing. For example, in the 2nd and 3rd paragraphs in the Development section, you're using the same quote redundantly. Just have the one citation at the end of that information and remove the preceding ones.
- Conclusions
still reviewing, will eventually place on hold. That's what I have for now, in which you can get started. I'll comb through the prose later on and place above any other prose issues that I see. –MuZemike 00:08, 3 February 2010 (UTC)
On hold pending the last few improvements. –MuZemike 20:32, 4 February 2010 (UTC)
Passed. Good work. –MuZemike 22:47, 4 February 2010 (UTC)