Talk:Staten Island Ferry/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: AmericanAir88 (talk · contribs) 02:40, 20 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]


Ill take this one up tomorrow. AmericanAir88 (talk) 02:40, 20 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for reviewing this article. I look forward to working with you again to resolve any issues. epicgenius (talk) 02:47, 20 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
@Epicgenius: I currently have pneumonia. Review will begin tomorrow night hopefully. AmericanAir88 (talk) 03:10, 24 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope you get well. epicgenius (talk) 22:30, 25 February 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@AmericanAir88: Are you able to continue with this review? epicgenius (talk) 21:05, 6 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Epicgenius: Of course, Tomorrow should be the start. I am on the mend. AmericanAir88 (talk) 04:36, 7 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Opening Comments[edit]

Welcome to the review for "Staten Island Ferry". I structure my reviews like a trial. My reviews are all about your voice as I will simply post issues and you will do the work solving them. If necessary I will make very minor copy edits to the article if I feel they don't need a whole bullet point dedicated to them. Anyway, I am looking forward to working with you again.

Issues[edit]

@Epicgenius: AmericanAir88 (talk) 16:25, 8 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

  • Ref 270 is dead
    • Done.
  • "Since 1997, the Staten Island Ferry has been fare-free, though historically, it has charged a relatively low fare compared to other modes of transit in the area." Rework and update(I think its 50 cents now).
  • Intro needs better sentence starters. Ex: "On the other hand" sounds awkward.
    • Done.
  • "On the other end, passengers can take the Staten Island Railway, the only rapid transit service on the island, or one of many buses available at the St. George Bus Terminal, the main bus terminal on the island." Rework and expand. Talking about alternatives is important.
  • The third paragraph of the intro needs work; It abandons topics and needs expansion. It might be helpful to move this to the history section.
    • Per WP:LEAD, this should be a brief description of the history section. For obvious reasons I don't want to add too much. The history section is much more detailed. epicgenius (talk) 18:36, 8 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • Try to update the dates from 2016 to 2017.(Not requiring but it would be helpful)
  • "The area would first be colonized as part of Dutch New Netherland in 1624, before being taken over by the British Province of New York in 1664, and the British province finally became part of the United States in 1776." Rework, It is run-on.
    • Done.
  • You can combine the two paragraphs in "Predecessors" as the second one is very small. Also the second paragraph needs smoother sentences.
    • Done.
  • The entire "History" section needs better sentence endings and starts. Also check the punctuation. Good work on the prose.
  • The Freedom Tower image text should now be called "One World Trade"(Not requiring but it would look better)
  • Remove all Redlinks and replace them with either a new link or no link.
    • I'm not sure that this is required per the red links guideline. I removed the links that aren't likely to be created any time soon, but the ferry companies are probably notable and might be created soon. epicgenius (talk) 18:36, 8 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Service is provided 24 hours a day, 365 days a year along its 5.2-mile (8.4 km) run." Reduce to 24/7.
    • Done.
  • "The ferry ride provides views of the Lower Manhattan skyline and the Statue of Liberty, and as such, is a popular place for film shoots." Expand, This is important information
  • The second paragraph of "Route" needs work.
    • Done.
  • In "Fare" You mention 2014 before 2013. Also rework some of the sentences to ensure smooth transitions.
    • That's correct, given that there were no fiscal-year 2014 ridership figures available in early 2014. I have clarified it. epicgenius (talk) 20:04, 8 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Detailed ridership figures for many fiscal years are not widely available." Please elaborate on this or it is considered unencyclopedic.
    • Clarified.
  • Give more flow to the "Former" section. This way it is less like a list.
    • Well, these classes were delivered in sequence. It's hard to describe it in any fashion other than a prose list. They have very little relation to each other, aside from the fact that these are former Staten Island ferryboats. I have reworded it anyway. epicgenius (talk) 20:04, 8 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Incidents" should be updated from 2010(If they're any)
  • Make the "Incidents" less list like.
    • There weren't any incidents from 2010. This was originally a list, but I tried fixing it even more. I don't think this is any better than the previous list, though. epicgenius (talk) 20:04, 8 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • The "See Also" should have ferries similar to the SIF.
    • I don't know what type of "similar ferries" you mean. The list of competing NYC ferries is already mentioned in the article, and the see-also guideline discourages adding links that are already in the article. Do you mean no-fee ferries or other popular ferries? I'm open to any suggestions you have. epicgenius (talk) 20:04, 8 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]
      • I like your idea of no-fee ferries. But look for city based ones.

✓ Pass

Closing Comments[edit]

@Epicgenius: Congratulations on passing. Your dedication and hard work was fantastic. I hope we can work together in the near future. Have a fantastic day. If you need any help on anything just ask. If you want me to take a look at any other articles you have for review, I will be more than happy to. Thank you. AmericanAir88 (talk) 23:21, 12 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@AmericanAir88: Thank you for another great review. I really appreciate it. epicgenius (talk) 23:27, 12 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Epicgenius: My pleasure, Thank for for the Hutchinson Parkway edits!. AmericanAir88 (talk) 23:48, 12 March 2018 (UTC)[reply]

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