Talk:Mudawana

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Feedback[edit]

Great work so far! Here's some feedback for how you can improve the article further:

  • Expand the lead section per WP:LEAD. Ideally, the lead section should summarize the important points from every major section in the body of the article. I would guess that an article of this size would need a lead section of 2 or 3 solid paragraphs to adequately summarize everything.
  • "the first collection of sayings of the prophet of Islam, Muhammad, his family, his companions, and also reflections of Imam Malik bin Anas" I would avoid having overly long link texts, as this makes it difficult to quickly determine what information would be elaborated upon by clicking on such a link. It also disrupts the flow of the sentence. The relevant guideline is WP:LINK. Also, the use of "Malik bin Anas" twice within the same sentence is somewhat confusing. Perhaps the second instance could be replaced with "the author himself" or a similar phrase.
  • I think it would be helpful to include a brief explanation of what Al-Muwatta is for context.
  • The subsection Moroccan government makes more sense as introductory material rather than part of the history section. Perhaps Moroccan government and Origins of Al-Mudawana could be placed in a separate Background section.
  • "It did this in part by codifying the system of existing patriarchal, kin-based social structures within the modern and newly independent state." I'm not sure what the intended purpose of "modern" is in this sentence, but it seems like an unnecessary addition to what is already a long sentence. I suggest removing it.
  • In general, a topic should be linked the first time it appears, and subsequent appearances should not be linked unless they come much later in the article. See this edit for an example of correct linking layout.

I hope you find feedback like this helpful. If so, I'll continue to go through the article. --Cryptic C62 · Talk 03:29, 3 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Definitely helpful! Thanks for the pointers. Any additional feedback would be appreciated. Amg0709 (talk) 03:39, 4 November 2010 (UTC)amg0709[reply]

Good job so far! You have a highly detailed and organized description of the history of the Mudawana and how it was developed. I also like the list of the major changes brought by the 2004 Mudawana. It makes it easy to understand what happened and when.

I also have a few suggestions for you.

  • The Moroccan government paragraphs could be moved to the top of the section - it makes more sense to understand the structure of the government before going into the details.
  • The title for the following section, Women & Civil Society, does not seem to fit with the details in the following paragraphs. Perhaps a better title is "the Beginning of Reforms" or something along those lines.
  • In the section, Barriers to Implementation, you could touch on legal literacy and how it impacts the effectiveness of the Mudawana. Just because someone is illiterate/literate doesn't mean s/he is aware of their legal rights.
  • The final paragraph entitled "Citizenship" does not seem to be connected to the rest of the article. Is it related to the Mudawana in some way? If so, you should add a sentence or two that makes this connection clear.

Cannondale0702 (talk) 22:29, 17 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

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