Talk:Maharashtra Police Headquarters

A fact from Maharashtra Police Headquarters appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 18 August 2020 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that John Lockwood Kipling worked on the capitals and cornices of Bombay's Neo-Gothic Royal Alfred Sailors' Home, now the Maharashtra Police Headquarters?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2020/August. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Maharashtra Police Headquarters.

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Did You Know nomination[edit]

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by SL93 (talk) 06:48, 11 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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Royal Alfred Sailors' Home

... that John Lockwood Kipling, father of ~~the~~ novelist Rudyard Kipling, worked on the capitals and cornices of the Neogothic Maharashtra Police Headquarters, formerly the Royal Alfred Sailors' Home (pictured) in Bombay? Source

Reviewed: No QPQ required; fourth nom.

Created by CallMeByYourMane (talk). Self-nominated at 10:53, 6 July 2020 (UTC).[reply]

New enough, long enough, No QPQ needed, hook interesting and cited. Passes earwig test. --evrik ^(talk) 18:26, 7 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@CallMeByYourMane and Evrik: DYK hooks have a 200 character limit, including spaces. This hook is took long. Please propose a shorter one. The Squirrel Conspiracy (talk) 22:32, 31 July 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@The Squirrel Conspiracy: It's 203 characters, which word should get dropped? --evrik ^(talk) 02:44, 1 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hi The Squirrel Conspiracy, evrik, I've struck 'the' above. If it needs to be shortened further, I would suggest taking out "the Neogothic". Best, CallMeByYourMane (talk) 06:37, 1 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

There are too many clauses in the hook. Also, notability is not inherited, so adding Rudyard Kipling to this overlong and over-blue linked hook just weighs it down. If you want to continue with this hook angle, I suggest shortening it to:
ALT1: ... that John Lockwood Kipling worked on the capitals and cornices of the Neogothic Maharashtra Police Headquarters, formerly the Royal Alfred Sailors' Home (pictured) in Bombay?
Personally, I think it's better to focus on the building itself, especially if you want an image slot.
ALT2: ... that the large, airy rooms of the Royal Alfred Sailors' Home (pictured) in Bombay was said to befit a "rather luxurious hotel" rather than a charitable institution? Yoninah (talk) 11:09, 4 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Approving Alt1 or Alt2. --evrik ^(talk) 12:53, 4 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks Yoninah, ALT1 sounds good to me if that's okay (I like the Kipling ref.)! CallMeByYourMane (talk) 13:34, 4 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I've reopened this, as there are a number of facts in the article lacking citations. Please fix these up and it can be re-promoted to a queue. I also have a query about the syntax of the hook - saying that John Lockwood Kipling designed the cornices on the Maharashtra Police Headquarters, formerly the Royal Alfred Sailors' Home, seems to me to suggest it was already the police headquarters when he did his work. Might be better to flip it to say that he designed the cornices on the Royal Alfred Sailors' Home and that it later becamse the Maharashtra Police Headquarters? Cheers. Pinging: CallMeByYourMane, Evrik, Yoninah. — Amakuru (talk) 13:35, 9 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Amakuru, all citations have been added. Your hook suggestion makes more sense. Proposing ALT 3: ... that John Lockwood Kipling worked on the capitals and cornices of Bombay's Neogothic Royal Alfred Sailors' Home (pictured), now the Maharashtra Police Headquarters? (It would be nice to go with the picture if possible!) Thanks, CallMeByYourMane (talk) 06:00, 10 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]

User:CallMeByYourMane thanks for the updates, and ALT3 sounds great, happy to tick that off. Hopefully someone will use the pic as well because it is a nice one. Cheers — Amakuru (talk) 09:03, 10 August 2020 (UTC)[reply]