Talk:Kota Kinabalu/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Khazar2 (talk · contribs) 15:29, 23 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I'll be glad to take this review. This is a city I always hoped to visit, mostly because I wanted to climb Mt. Kinabalu, but never got the chance to. (Who knows--maybe someday!)

My first impression is that this article still has a long way to go before meeting the Good Article criteria. A few initial points:

Large sections of this article are unsourced. The Good Article criteria don't require sources for everything, but many paragraphs and even sections appear to have no sources. Most importantly, some statistics (such as rainfall) and quotations (such as the various translations of the city's name) need sources.
"KK's most notable secondary schools are"... this list seems to go into excessive detail; few readers interested in Kota Kinabalu will need a list of 20+ high school names. Also, how is it determined what schools are "most notable"?
This paragraph should be rewritten as complete sentences, and the unneeded bolding removed: "Colonial Office Reconstruction and Development Plan for North Borneo: 1948-1955 was set up by the British government.[9] Approved £6,051,939 - £2,232,882 for rebuilding and £3,819,057 for new development. Roads built, harbour cleared, airstrips repaired, towns reconstructed and agriculture encouraged. "
The article needs copyediting for sentences like: "a memorial which marks the site of the June 6, 1976 plane crash known as the Double Six Tragedy most notably the first Chief Minister of Sabah, Tun Fuad Stephens."
Some sections of the article read like a brochure for the city: "It became an annual event that promises to be a spectacular world-class affair" or "Kota Kinabalu also features a number of shopping malls, which attract many visitors", etc., without providing sources.
Blog sources like [1] should be replaced with reliable secondary sources.

I notice from your talk page that you're retiring. Are you still interested in trying to make this a good article? If so, please start with the above, and we can work from there. Thanks for your work on this one! -- Khazar2 (talk) 15:29, 23 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Since it's now been a week without response, I'm closing the review without listing the article at this time. If future editors are interested in bringing this one up to GA status (and I hope they are!), the above comments might be a place to start. Cheers, Khazar2 (talk) 03:19, 30 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Khazar2, sorry for the late response. Anyway, thank you for your willingness to review this article, Now I am ready.. ;)

As your request:

Large sections of this article are unsourced. The Good Article criteria don't require sources for everything, but many paragraphs and even sections appear to have no sources. Most importantly, some statistics (such as rainfall) and quotations (such as the various translations of the city's name) need sources. Done
"KK's most notable secondary schools are"... this list seems to go into excessive detail; few readers interested in Kota Kinabalu will need a list of 20+ high school names. Also, how is it determined what schools are "most notable"? Done –modified–
This paragraph should be rewritten as complete sentences, and the unneeded bolding removed: "Colonial Office Reconstruction and Development Plan for North Borneo: 1948-1955 was set up by the British government.[9] Approved £6,051,939 - £2,232,882 for rebuilding and £3,819,057 for new development. Roads built, harbour cleared, airstrips repaired, towns reconstructed and agriculture encouraged. " Already done
The article needs copyediting for sentences like: "a memorial which marks the site of the June 6, 1976 plane crash known as the Double Six Tragedy most notably the first Chief Minister of Sabah, Tun Fuad Stephens." Done –modified–
Some sections of the article read like a brochure for the city: "It became an annual event that promises to be a spectacular world-class affair" or "Kota Kinabalu also features a number of shopping malls, which attract many visitors", etc., without providing sources. Done
Blog sources like [2] should be replaced with reliable secondary sources. Done

What do you think? :) — иz нίpнόp^ʜᴇʟᴘ! 08:55, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I don't know that I'll get a chance to re-read this in detail this week, but at a quick glance, it looks much improved. I'd say you should definitely go ahead and renominate it. Thanks for all your work! -- Khazar2 (talk) 11:56, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

You're welcome and thank you also for your willingness to take a time to review this article. ;) — иz нίpнόp^ʜᴇʟᴘ! 12:30, 22 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]