Talk:Jacqueline Hinman

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opening sentence[edit]

This opening sentence is poorly structured and loses it's meaning: "Jacqueline Anne "Jacque" Hinman P.E. LEED, her maiden name is Crenca and used earlier Rast as her surname which was from a previous marriage..." PE, LEED are her credentials, which I don't think belong with the first mention of her name MOS:CREDENTIAL, and the rest is just grammatically poor, obscuring the meaning.68.197.146.243 (talk) 21:31, 8 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]