Talk:Hurricane Debbie (1961)/GA1

GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 03:14, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Given the uncertainty, I think the first sentence needs to be changed.
- Changed Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"operational forecasters" - what are they? Do you mean, "operationally, forecasters"?
- Done Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" Category 3 hurricane" - since this is the first mention in the lede, do you think you should add SSHS somewhere?
- Added Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"with many smaller buildings being destroyed" - no need for "being"
- Removed Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" $40–50 million" - which currency?
- Added Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"By this time, the system had a central pressure below 1006 mbar (hPa; 29.71 inHg) and sustained winds of 40 mph (65 km/h) were reported in Dakar, Senegal. " - needs a comma somewhere
- Added it before and Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"the Cape Verde Islands" - "the" and "Islands" are redundant
- Fixed Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Continuing on a west-northwestward path" - the "-ward" seems unnecessary
- Removed Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
You mention "deepen" a few times without explaining what it means. It could be helpful.
- Discussed off-wiki Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"According to a 2012 study by Hickey and Connolly-Johnston, this ranked Debbie as the most intense post-hurricane since 1960 to move through the British Isles." - given that Debbie was in 1961, you should reword the sentence a bit. It could imply Debbie was the most intense in a 2 year span. I'd recommend removing "2012" from the first half of the sentence, and then say "...post-hurricane from 1960 to 2012..." Your call though.
- Reworded it. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" ten-minute sustained wind " - maybe link to maximum sustained wind here?
- Linked Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Malin Head" - link?
- It's linked in the table. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"as the storm passed by" - don't end a sentence with a preposition.
- Removed it Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Approximately two percent of the trees in the forestry industry in Ireland were destroyed" - were trees really destroyed? Like an explosion? (or implosion???? o.O)
- Hahaha, yes! All destroyed! But on a serious note, I corrected it. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Four people were killed in County Cavan, a widow, her two daughters and granddaughter, after a tree fell on their car." - I think a dash is in order for the widow part.
- Added Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Countless trees were downed across the city, paralyzing traffic" - sounds a bit sensationalistic
- Would you suggest another way to word this? Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
In the third Ireland paragraph - "Most residents lost power for at least several hours and some lost telephone service." - you mentioned downed power lines and loss of communications in the previous paragraph. Is this anything new/different?
- Removed since it's redundant Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Numerous smaller structures, such as barns and outhouses" - this seems a bit redundant to when you mention the two barns being destroyed near Ballygar.
- Removed since it's redundant Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"the Saturday, September 16, 1961" - is "the" needed?
- Nope, removed it Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"Damage in Roscommon was "impossible to calculate,"" - where is that quote from?
- Reference #21, as it's cited Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"In Limrick, 15 people sustained various degrees of injury" - is that supposed to be "Limerick", and why not say "15 people were injured"?
- Yes and reworded. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"thousands of trees were snapped or uprooted, leaving many towns temporarily isolated." - how did trees leave towns isolated?
- Clarified Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
You should clarify early on in the Ireland section that it deals with the country.
- Changed section title Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Any more effects in Great Britain?
- Not that I could find sadly. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

All in all, it's a good article, but there is a bit too much repetitiveness in the Ireland section. It got a little boring seeing how many times a county reported damage to roofs, trees, or power lines. Try cutting down on that a bit. Lemme know if you have any questions. I'll put the GAN on hold for now. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 03:14, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I think I've dealt with everything brought up. Thanks a lot for the thorough review! I really appreciate it! Cyclonebiskit (talk) 21:25, 9 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The opening sentence - "Hurricane Debbie was the most powerful cyclone on record to strike Ireland in September. " - seems odd to me. Have other, stronger cyclones struck Ireland in other months of the year? Or should it be "Hurricane Debbie was the most powerful cyclone on record to strike Ireland, in September 1961. "? 86.46.251.178 (talk) 15:22, 9 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]