Talk:Benton Bangs

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A fact from Benton Bangs appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 22 December 2022 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that pigeon racer "Biff" Bangs previously played for two different teams in Rose Bowl football games?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2022/December. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Benton Bangs.

Wikipedia

Did you know nomination[edit]

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Kingsif (talk) 05:04, 16 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

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Comment or view
Article history

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... ~~that pigeon racer "Biff" Bangs played in Rose Bowl games for two different teams?~~ Source: This and this for the pigeon racing. This for his playing in the 1916 Rose Bowl for Washington State. This for his playing in the 1919 Rose Bowl for the Mare Island Marines.
alt1 ... that pigeon racer "Biff" Bangs previously played for two different teams in Rose Bowl football games?
- Reviewed: Daily Dozen Doughnut Co.

5x expanded by Cbl62 (talk). Self-nominated at 00:16, 30 November 2022 (UTC).[reply]

5x expansion has been confirmed, and the hook is cited inline (AGF on the sources since I can't view the sources). Still waiting on that QPQ. The hook may need a slight modification though: the hook suggests he was a pigeon racer during his playing career, when he didn't become one until after he retired from playing. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 06:15, 30 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]
@Narutolovehinata5: Thank you for the review. Hook tweaked as suggested, and QPQ done. Cbl62 (talk) 16:50, 30 November 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Cbl62: Thanks for the edit! However, would it be possible to clarify that the Rose Bowl is a college football game? Readers outside the United States might not know that it's a bowl game. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 11:06, 1 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

It's possible, but I'm not sure it's desirable. I think sometimes "less is more" in crafting a hook. Cbl62 (talk) 14:59, 1 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

True, but I think we need to take into consideration the interests of global readers here. Not every reader knows everything, so we need to add clarifications when necessary. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 00:00, 2 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Narutolovehinata5: Changed as requested. Cbl62 (talk) 01:18, 2 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, good to go with ALT1. Narutolovehinata5 (talk · contributions) 01:05, 3 December 2022 (UTC)[reply]