Talk:Almira Hollander Pitman

A fact from Almira Hollander Pitman appeared on Wikipedia's Main Page in the Did you know column on 7 January 2021 (check views). The text of the entry was as follows:

Did you know... that Massachusetts-born activist Almira Hollander Pitman was given credit for the passage of a bill for women's suffrage in Hawaii?

A record of the entry may be seen at Wikipedia:Recent additions/2021/January. The nomination discussion and review may be seen at Template:Did you know nominations/Almira Hollander Pitman.

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Did you know nomination[edit]

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Yoninah (talk) 22:06, 27 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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~~... that Massachusetts-born suffragist Almira Hollander Pitman was instrumental in working for women's suffrage in Hawaii after visiting the islands with her Hawaiian husband?~~

Reviewed: Berge equilibrium

Created by Megalibrarygirl (talk) and KAVEBEAR (talk). Nominated by KAVEBEAR (talk) at 21:56, 11 December 2020 (UTC).[reply]

: hook is interesting and verified. Article is new enough, long enough, well written, neutral, well sourced, free of copyvio. QPQ is done. Good to go. Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 02:10, 12 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I came by to promote this, but you have a lot of repetition in the hook ("suffragist"..."suffrage"..."Hawaii"..."Hawaiian"). Yoninah (talk) 00:32, 24 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

ALT1 ~~... that Massachusetts-born activist Almira Hollander Pitman was instrumental in working for women's suffrage in Hawaii after visiting the islands with her husband?~~

@Yoninah: How about that? KAVEBEAR (talk) 02:20, 24 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

When you say it that way, it's not a very strong hook. Women in Red would ask: Why do we need to mention her husband? Then there's almost no hook left. Yoninah (talk) 19:23, 24 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

How about: ALT2: ... that Massachusetts-born activist Almira Hollander Pitman was given credit for the passage of a bill for women's suffrage in Hawaii? Megalibrarygirl (talk) 19:27, 24 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I am fine with anything. @Yoninah: Thoughts on that one? KAVEBEAR (talk) 02:20, 25 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you, ALT2 is better. Pinging original reviewer @Eddie891: to review ALT2. Yoninah (talk) 12:08, 25 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]

: Hook LGTM, rest of the review per above — Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 00:07, 27 December 2020 (UTC)[reply]