Talk:2008 American League Central tie-breaker game/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: KV5 (Talk • Phils) 16:10, 15 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

OK, Stax, if you really want me to, here I go. KV5 (Talk • Phils) 16:10, 15 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"won the game 1–0" - commas around the score (, 1–0,)
"lowest scoring gam" - lowest-scoring
comma after ALDS
move "3 games to 1" to the end of the sentence, and precede with a comma; also MOS:NUM (three and one)
"In baseball statistics" - comma after
"start of the season" - comma after
"the top two finishers" - clarify, the division's top two finishers
"the previous season" - in the previous season
"last on May 17th" - MOS:DATE, May 17 (occurs twice)
"a share of the league" - I think you meant a share of the lead
"The Twins spent much of the season second to the White Sox" - reads a bit awkwardly, suggest re-word The Twins spent much of the season in second place behind the White Sox, and comma after
"Despite going 11–15 in September" - comma after
"September 25th" - MOS:DATE
"which capped" - that capped
"September 29th" - MOS:DATE (occurs twice)
"won, 8–2" - comma after
"Fans were encourage" - encouraged
"as their starter" - starting pitcher, link it, and comma after
"top of the 5th" - fifth
"Danks ~~then~~ induced"
comma after "Delmon Young"
"Brendan Harris ~~then~~ hit"
Remove double period ("Griffey, Jr..")
"7th inning" - seventh
"to ground out" - comma after
"but ~~then~~ allowed a double"
Where does A-Ram figure into this? He's played his whole career for the Bucs and Cubbies.

Wow. I'm fixing everything else, but this deserves a special comment. It's Alexei Ramirez, but I saw A. Ramirez in the game summary and didn't even think when I wrote Aramis. Apologies. Staxringold _talk^contribs 16:41, 15 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Check your diacritics; there are some plain links redirecting to names of Latin players with accented letters (Mijares, Ramirez, etc).
"in the 9th" - ninth
"White Sox" - this is possessive ("White Sox'")
"Danks drew praise for his performance in the game." - ref?
"Twins' batters" - rm apostrophe
"Michael Cuddyer" - can remove his first name after first mention
"22–40" - should be 22-for-40 or, better yet, something written out for non-baseball readers, like Twins batters Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, and Cuddyer had a combined 22 hits in 20 at bats
"against John Danks" - rm first name
"for their career" - careers, multiple subjects; comma after
"With the victory" - comma after
"pennant winning" - pennant-winning
comma after "Rays"
comma after "Statistically"
"4th most" - fourth-most
rm first names in "Legacy" section from Danks, Mauer, Morneau
"3.32 in the game" - comma after

That should do it. On hold. KV5 (Talk • Phils) 16:32, 15 May 2010 (UTC)[reply]