Wikipedia:WikiProject Biography/Peer review/Tammy Duckworth

Tammy Duckworth[edit]

Hello, Tammy Duckworth is running for the Illinois 6th district of congress. This race has now be come heated. I have submited this article for peer review because I feel article is substandard, bias and non-encylopeidic. I feel it needs work to bring it up to the wikipdeia standards for Biography for Living Persons WP:BLP as well as Neutral Point of View. WP:NPOV For this to happen, there needs more editors, to help and improve the standard of this article. Thanks Chitownflyer 08:26, 18 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Electrawn[edit]

Serious WP:NPOV#Undue Weight problems with all the criticism sections.
Early Life section doesn't answer Who, What, When, Where, Why and How. Specifically, why did she join the military.
Political career doesn't answer why she wanted to run for congress.
Citations throughout the article potentially violate WP:RS, blogs used too frequently.

I am not sure this start class article is ready for a full peer review. A WP:RFC may be a better idea. That said, I'll made my comments brief and general. Electrawn 20:14, 20 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]

Yannismarou[edit]

Electrawn has pointed out the main problems of the article. I don't think this is a bad article, but it needs work and a more thorough research:

Per Electrawn about the POV problems of the criticism section. What I mean: In this section Duckworth criticizes, but she is not criticized! Which are the criticisms against her? What do her opponents say about her opinions. Elaborate and expand the stubby sub-sections of this section.
Poor prose and incoherent writing. This is clear because of the main one-sentence paragraphs. The article is not a collection of phrases. The article must tell a story. Try to do it!
When you citate an online source, you must say when it was retrieved.
I accept blogs, if they donot constitute the main part of the sources. Try to enrich your sources.
Too many external links. Are you sure they are all necessary? And what is http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=3979272153285983805 for instance? This tells me nothing! Explain what source this is. And again you donot sya when these sites were retrieved.--Yannismarou 19:53, 21 September 2006 (UTC)[reply]