Wikipedia:Peer review/Tropical cyclogenesis/archive2

Tropical cyclogenesis

Previous peer review

This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I would like to get it up to fa status.

Thanks, Bobby122 Contact Me (C) 01:11, 19 September 2010 (UTC)

• Make sure that everything in the previous peer review (listed above) and the WikiProject A-Class Review is taken care of. Titoxd^{(?!? - cool stuff)} 19:38, 21 September 2010 (UTC)
• Do we really need the Seasonal forecasts section? We have Tropical cyclone forecasting, which has a Seasonal forecast section, and the prose there probably belongs there better. Titoxd^{(?!? - cool stuff)} 02:42, 24 September 2010 (UTC)

Comments from Jappalang

• Checklinks (toolbox on the right of this peer review page) shows a dead link and several sites that require subscription; please fix the dead link and note which sites require subscription in the References.

  Which ones in particular were you concerned about (besides the dead link)? I verified all the "suspicious" output in checklinks, and all the journal references worked for me. Titoxd^{(?!? - cool stuff)} 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)

  I must have mixed it up with another article. Journal links are working fine here. Jappalang (talk) 06:29, 28 September 2010 (UTC)

• "Tropical cyclogenesis is the technical term describing the development and strengthening of a tropical cyclone in the atmosphere."

  "Tropical cyclogenesis is the technical term that describes the development and strengthening of a tropical cyclone in the atmosphere."

  Switched. Titoxd^{(?!? - cool stuff)} 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)

• "... due to significant convection in a favorable atmospheric environment."

  "... due to significant upward movement of warm air in a favorable atmospheric environment."

  I am hesitant to change this one, since the establishment of the full convection cell is important, not just the upwards advection; I'll wait for further input on this request. Titoxd^{(?!? - cool stuff)} 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)

• "An average of 86 tropical cyclones of tropical storm intensity form annually worldwide, with 47 reaching hurricane/typhoon strength, and 20 becoming intense tropical cyclones (at least Category 3 intensity on the Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Scale)."

  This average number is applicable for what time period? Furthermore, read User:Tony1/Noun plus -ing on why "... with <noun> -ing ..." is discouraged.

  The reference from where this information is obtained only says "in the last few decades". I'd rather not introduce such a vague statement to the lede of the article, but I welcome further opinions. I tried to remove the noun+ing. Titoxd^{(?!? - cool stuff)} 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)

• "There are six main requirements that are necessary but not sufficient for tropical cyclogenesis: [...] These conditions are necessary for tropical cyclone formation, but they do not guarantee that a tropical cyclone will form."

  The phrase "that are necessary but not sufficient" is redundant; the second sentence plainly states the same but in a clearer manner.

  Fixed. Titoxd^{(?!? - cool stuff)} 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)

• "These warm waters are needed to maintain the warm core that fuels tropical systems."

  "Tropical systems" = tropical climates/environments or tropical cyclones?

  Tropical cyclones. However, Adding "tropical cyclones" there would make the paragraph very repetitive. Alternative formulations would be welcome. Titoxd^{(?!? - cool stuff)} 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)

• "This value is well above the global average surface temperature of the oceans, which is 16.1 °C (60.9 °F)."

  "This value is well above 16.1 °C (60.9 °F), the global average surface temperature of the oceans."

  Fixed. Titoxd^{(?!? - cool stuff)} 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)

• "However, this requirement can be considered only a general baseline because it assumes that the ambient atmospheric environment surrounding an area of disturbed weather presents average conditions."

  Unsourced; there are more unsourced information in the Times of formation and Unusual areas of formation sections.

  I recently placed these tags for statements that I know are true, but which should be better referenced. Titoxd^{(?!? - cool stuff)} 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)

• There are several "[citation needed]" tags; this and the above unsourced elements stopped my reviewing of content.

• File:Depth26Cisotherm.gif, File:Atlantic hurricane graphic.gif, File:WorldwideTCpeaks.gif: link to the page that displays the image, not to the image directly per WP:CITE#IMAGE.

  I'll see what I can do here. Titoxd^{(?!? - cool stuff)} 12:11, 27 September 2010 (UTC)

The article mostly manages to present information that is understandable to the layman at times. However, I believe it still needs some polishing on its prose and resolution of the unsourced/uncited elements and image copyrights.