Wikipedia:Peer review/Enchanted (film)/archive1

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Enchanted (film)[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I'm working to get it to featured article status. I believe it is close to meeting all of the FA criteria. However, there are two sections that I'm not sure about. In the Filming section, should the live-action and animation sections be merged? Also, is the Merchandising section adequate? Any other comments about the article, especially the prose, will also be very helpful.

Thanks, Ladida (talk) 10:50, 30 January 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Ruhrfisch comments: Generally well done, but needs some work before FAC. Here are some suggestions for improvement.

  • The hardest criteria for most articles at FAC is a professional level of English, but this needs work to get there. A few examples (not an exhaustive list) follows:
    • Run-on sentence from "Filming" section Enchanted is the first feature-length Disney live-action/traditional animation hybrid since Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988), though the traditionally-animated characters do not interact in the live-action environment in the same manner as they did in Roger Rabbit; however, there are some scenes where live-action characters share the screen with two-dimensional animated characters, for example, a live-action Nathaniel communicating with a cel-drawn Narissa.
    • Awkward sentence: Out of the film's 107 minutes of running time, ten of the approximately 13 minutes of animation are at the beginning of the film. perhaps could be better as Approximately 13 minutes of the film's 107 minute running time is animation, with most of it in the first ten minutes.
    • Avoid needless repetition such as Many scenes were also filmed at Steiner Studios, which provided the three large stages that Enchanted needed at the same facility.[1]
  • Several places need refs - for example the cameos by actresses who have played characters in Disney films needs a ref, or the first paragraph of the Music section, or the last two sentences in Merchandising. My rule of thumb is that every quote, every statistic, every extraordinary claim and every paragraph needs a ref. See WP:CITE and WP:V
  • Plot sections are supposed to be 900 words or so, this seems a bit longer.
  • Article has several short (one or two sentence) paragraphs that hsould be combined with others or perhapos expanded.
  • Spell out abbreviations on first use such as "2D" in the lead, so "two-dimensional (2D)"
  • A model article is useful for ideas and examples to follow - there are several FAs on movies that may be good models

Hope this helps. If my comments are useful, please consider peer reviewing an article, especially one at Wikipedia:Peer review/backlog (which is how I found this article). Yours, Ruhrfisch ><>°° 05:03, 6 February 2009 (UTC)[reply]

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