Wikipedia:Peer review/David Owen Dodd/archive1

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David Owen Dodd[edit]

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because it failed a formal review for GA status and members of the Wiki community have indicated that it is a good candidate for GA, with improvements. I would like to request that it be reviewed in the areas of completeness, correctness and writing style, and would be thankful for suggestions to improve the article so that it is well-written and broad in its coverage of the topic. Also, any suggestions for images would be appreciated; pictures of an event that happened 150 years ago are not easy to come by. Thanks, Truthanado (talk) 00:29, 15 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments from The Rambling Man (talk · contribs)

Here we go, some things that would help should you go back to GA once again.

  • The lead is way too short. WP:LEAD would recommend probably at least two relatively sizeable paragraphs, not just a single sentence.
  • Seven subsections seems a little over the top for the main part - I'd consider merging a couple of them...
  • "...attended school in the city. David attended..." - two attended makes slightly awkward reading.
  • In line with the short subsections, I would also look at merging some of the short paragraphs (some are one or two sentences long only). It would also make the prose a little less choppy, there are several short sentences in a row which doesn't make elegant prose.
  • Fagan's image caption is a complete sentence so could use a full stop/period.
  • " David pled "Not Guilty".[6]" - Dodd pleaded not guilty.
  • 4-2 should use an en-dash to separate the values, not a hyphen, per WP:DASH
  • Not keen on the inline geo-co-ords. Could you make this a footnote?
  • "destroyed Andrew and Lydia Dodd" - hyperbolic, stick to raw facts.

That should start you off. The Rambling Man (talk) 15:11, 18 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

  • The legacy section must be converted to prose, not left as a bullet point list.

Hope that helps. The Rambling Man (talk) 15:11, 18 April 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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