Wikipedia:Peer review/Cheese/archive1

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Cheese[edit]

I've wrestled with and expanded this page to a point where I think it covers most of the topic in a sensible way. I'd like to see it as an FA someday. Bunchofgrapes (talk) 03:36, 12 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]

Congratulations, I like this article a lot. I hope you don't mind if I make a few comments, and, if I can, help out.
  1. The end of the lead section has a sentence on the etymology of cheese that looks a bit suspect. It looks like an oversimplified statement of the development of Indo-European languages. Just for starters, West Germanic is a language group, and one can only really point to a reconstructed proto-West-Germanic word (which would traditionally be marked with an asterisk, *kasjus). I'll do a little more research and find a better wording.
  2. The history section is good, but I'm sure it could be longer. I think something like this just needs a lot of research.
  3. The section on cultural attitudes is very important. Kudos for having it!
  4. I would really like to see a types of cheese section before the nutrition section. Although some types are mentioned elsewhere, it would be good to get the big picture on the cheese world.
I hope this is helpful. --Gareth Hughes 11:17, 12 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]
It certainly is, and thanks. I hadn't looked into the etymology at all, I admit... I very much like your idea to have a types of cheese section. I'll get that done in the next day or two and see if I can find more information for the history section as well. (And of course I joyfully welcome any and all help you might give to the page.) Bunchofgrapes (talk) 15:14, 12 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]
I started a "Types of cheese" section... Still needs completion. Thanks for the great etymology paragraph! I took the liberty of moving it into a subsection under History, which seemed appropriate given the nature of the material. Bunchofgrapes (talk) 23:04, 12 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]
Cheese#Types of cheese mostly done now, although I think perhaps I should add Processed cheese too. Bunchofgrapes (talk) 03:44, 13 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]
  • What's a "bunchofgrapes" doing editing an article on Cheese? Sounds funny. Anyway, looks good, but I'd like to see a longer history section as well. Also, the quotes, if they're not there already should really be moved to Wikiquote with the Wikiquote link in the external links section. The image you have in that section at the moment, would fit fine at the start of the Cheese making section. Perhaps you can add a section about major cheese related stuff in pop culture? A few more references wouldn't hurt either. I hope my comments are of some help to you. Good luck with the article and feel free to contact me when it's up as a FAC. - Mgm|(talk) 18:23, 12 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]
    • Well, grapes... wine... cheese... it all fits. I have always despised the quotes section, but wasn't sure what to do about it. (Also, right now, it's a mixture of quotes and pop-cultural expressions and usages, really.) Are you suggesting eliminating all the "quotes" (moving them to Wikiquote if not there already) and expanding the pop-culture-y stuff? Bunchofgrapes (talk) 20:27, 12 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]
  • You could keep "Cheesy", "The Big Cheese" and "Say Cheese" amongst others and create a section about cheese in the English language, but real hard quotes should be moved to Wikiquote. Is canned cheese mentioned somewhere? Pop culture would mention important roles for cheese in film, television, literature and art. I'm not sure which of the current things in the quotes section falls under that, but anything pop cultury can indeed be used to expand a bit. - Mgm|(talk) 22:05, 12 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]

I think I've incorporated every bit of advice given so far, except for fishing for film, television, literature and art cheese roles. (Which except for the Monty Python Cheese sketch, I'm a little at a loss for.) There is now a separate "Cheese in language" section, with the etymological info and paragraphs on slang usage. (Go cheeseheads!) The History section has a bit more to it and is subsectioned out now; I've added more to the Cultural attitudes section as well. (And of course I added "Types of cheese", which now includes Processed Cheese and Easy Cheese, a canned "aerosol" cheese.) The list of quotes is gone, and between Wayward and myself there's been a lot of copyediting since the article went up for peer review.

I'd really appreciate any reviews of the new material, or any further critiques at all. Bunchofgrapes (talk) 05:02, 15 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]

  • I think this is an excellent article. Well done! Cedars 09:59, 16 October 2005 (UTC)[reply]
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