Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/Phan Dinh Phung/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by User:SandyGeorgia 03:05, 13 July 2008 [1].

Phan Dinh Phung[edit]

Nominator(s): Blnguyen (bananabucket)


Biography of a mandarin of Vietnam who fought against French colonial rule. Phan Dinh Phung was known mainly for his strong will, refusing to surrender even when his family were all arrested and threatened with execution. He also known for the same during his career as a palace official, and almost got executed by other mandarins for objecting to their regicides. Blnguyen (bananabucket) 05:26, 27 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Comments - as usual, sources look fine, links checked with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 13:18, 27 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose - Some prose issues, these examples are from the lead:

  • "Upon Tu Duc's death, Phung nearly lost his life" > "Upon Tu Duc's death, Phung almost lost his life"
  • "...in the space of a year." - maybe "within a year" instead?
  • Passive voice - "and was stripped of his honours and was briefly jailed before being exiled from the court to his home province."
  • "Along with Thuyet, Phung organised rebel armies as part of the Can Vuong movement," - maybe "Phung organised rebel armies with Thuyet..." instead?
This one is fine, because they made their own independent armies. Blnguyen (bananabucket) 03:05, 30 June 2008 (UTC) [reply]
  • "took its toll," seems too informal in this case, try "ended" instead?
Fixed this one. Blnguyen (bananabucket) 08:33, 3 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • I recommend a full copyedit by an editor new to the text. Please see both Peer review/volunteers and LOCE/Members for lists of people who can help. Do not hesitate to contact a few people on their Talk pages!

— Wackymacs (talk ~ edits) 13:55, 27 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I've changed them anyway, but can you explain why they were wrong in the first place (apart from the passive voice one) because I'm not sure how they made any difference. Blnguyen (bananabucket) 08:33, 3 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Per {{PD-Vietnam}}, these photos are more more than 50 years old anyway, because the subject died ages ago, but the first one appears to be a Vietnamese government work from the Vietnamese Government Encyclopedia which is PD. Blnguyen (bananabucket) 08:33, 3 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
I've added PD-Vietnam to Image:Phan Dinh Phung.jpg. —Giggy 08:52, 3 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The new version of Image:Phan Dinh Phung.jpg is still problematic, as hosting on a government site (gov.vn suffix) does not necessarily mean it is the work of the government. I don't speak the language, however; does the page say otherwise (i.e. actually assert government authorship)? I also don't see publication or author death dates, which would be needed to determine whether {{PD-Vietnam}} is satisfied. The newly added Image:Hue linh luoc su Hoang Cao Khai.jpg also has this problem (no author or publication date asserted by the source). ЭLСОВВОLД talk 14:58, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Well, I'm sure it's in a book in Vietnam somewhere and I'm sure it's govt pic (both of them), since in 1880s there is no way that a private citizen in Vietnam would have had a camera. But never mind, I'll remove it. Blnguyen (bananabucket) 04:05, 11 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments—The writing's OK. It was overlinked (see MOSNUM, which no longer encourages date autoformatting and which now prescribes rules for the raw formatting), and MOSLINK and CONTEXT, so I've reduced some of it to allow your high-value links to breathe.
  • You might consider writing stubs for the red links, in case this goes on the main page some time. There are several in the lead.
  • Keen to see my colleagues' concerns above addressed. TONY (talk) 14:44, 7 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Done this. Blnguyen (bananabucket) 06:32, 11 July 2008 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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