Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/G. Wayne Clough/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The list was not promoted by Ian Rose 10:04, 4 March 2013 (UTC) [1].[reply]

G. Wayne Clough[edit]

G. Wayne Clough (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)

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Nominator(s): Disavian (talk) 19:23, 20 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I am nominating this for featured article because I believe it meets the criteria, and covers a rather notable subject in detail. I took a good deal of time in Feb 2012 to dramatically improve the article, but I'm just now nominating it. I look forward to reviewer comments. Disavian (talk) 19:23, 20 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Working on checklinks results, looks like there are only two dead links. Disavian (talk) 19:37, 20 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Checklinks is now clean. Every problem link was apparently fixable. Disavian (talk) 19:50, 20 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Oppose, at least until the prose is cleaned up. Afew examples of what I'm talking about:

  • "The students of Georgia Tech affectionately dubbed him "Funk Masta G. Wayne" during his presidency in accordance with the expansion and growth he encouraged in urban Atlanta ...". Accordance is clearly not the right word there.
    • That was changed from "in accordance with" to "due to". diff Disavian (talk) 17:53, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "... Clough believed it detracted from the entirety of the exhibition, in which he believed 'to be a powerful exhibit about the contributions of gay and lesbian artists'".
    • changed "in which he believed" to "which he said was" Disavian (talk) 17:57, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Clough has earned numerous awards and honors during his career ... Dr. Clough has also earned a George Westinghouse Award from the American Society for Engineering Education". Why do we suddenly start calling him Dr. Clough?
  • " Clough's decision was widely criticized, but Clough responded that he was protecting the Smithsonian's larger educational mission." Rather awkward and unnecessary repetition of "Clough".
    • Changed to "This decision was widely criticized" Disavian (talk) 17:53, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • " In 2011, Georgia Tech opened the G. Wayne Clough Undergraduate Learning Commons building to honor his commitment to undergraduate students". I'm quite certain that's not at all the reason they opened it, but it may be the reason they named it as they did.
    • Changed from "opened the ... building to honor his commitment" to "opened the ... building named in honor of his commitment" Disavian (talk) 17:53, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "They have had two children, Eliza and Matthew." Don't they still have two children?
  • "There Clough met his wife, Anne Olivia Robinson, while he was in middle school." No, he didn't meet his wife, he met his future wife.
  • The Early life section recounts events up until 1994, when Clough was almost 53. Can't really consider that to be "early life". Also, much of the section isn't about either Clough's early life or education, it's about his academic career before becoming President of Georgia Tech. Overall, I think that there's undue emphasis on Clough's time at Georgia Tech compared to his time at Virginia Tech, for instance.
    • The article has been resectioned a bit, and his research at Virginia Tech has been beefed up a bit. Disavian (talk) 17:53, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Clough's tenure was especially focused on a dramatic expansion of the Institute; over $1 billion was spent on expanding or improving the campus. These projects included the completion of several west campus dorms ...". What projects? The previous sentence was talking about tenure, not projects. Where did the money come from anyway?
    • Projects as in specific buildings, or collections thereof. A great deal of campus construction happened while he was president, and one of the largest responsibilities of the president is fundraising for whatever they want to build next. And it would be more accurate to ask where the money didn't come from - many of the buildings were funded by alumni donations along with funds specially procured from the state. I don't know how to encapsulate those facts into the article, though. Disavian (talk) 17:53, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Clough's father died in February 1988, and his mother died in August 1994." Is that really relevant? And again, what does it have to do with either Clough's early life or his education?
    • They're biographical facts. The sentence has been somewhat adjusted, I believe, and the section has been renamed to "research". Disavian (talk) 17:53, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      Which makes it doubly incomprehensible why the deaths of Clough's parents should be tagged on to the end of that section. Let's remind ourselves that this a biography of Clough, not his parents. Did their deaths affect him in any significant way for instance? George Ponderevo (talk) 01:47, 6 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      The timing of the deaths of his parents is significant since they both died shortly before Clough became President of Georgia Tech, which provides relevant biographical information. In other words, Clough was not able to share his increasing success and greater accomplishments with his parents due to the timing of their deaths. I recommend moving the information regarding his parents' deaths to another section of the article to resolve the concerns described above. Mistercontributer (talk) 03:52, 6 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I want to stress again that these are just a few examples, not a list of issues that if addressed will automatically switch my vote to support. My overall impression is that the prose is generally rather clunky, particulary the final Honors and awards section. George Ponderevo (talk) 22:15, 20 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your suggestions. I have been absolutely slammed with work this week, but I have had a couple people come in and copyedit the article. If I get some more time - possibly on Friday - I will look to see what of your suggestions has been resolved. Disavian (talk) 01:30, 24 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Okay, had a look through them, good suggestions. I replied to the ones I could. Thanks for taking the time to copyedit and review the article. Disavian (talk) 17:53, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • Comments (edit conflict!) I was the GA reviewer. Here are some issues:
    • "A graduate of Georgia Tech, in civil engineering, he was the first Georgia Tech alumnus to be the president of Georgia Tech." - too many occasions of Georgia Tech. Perhaps remove the second mention, and replaced the third with "that university"
      • That has since been changed to "A graduate of Georgia Tech, in civil engineering, he was the first alumnus to serve as President of the Institute." - any thoughts on that phrasing? I think we might need to uncapitalize president and institute. Disavian (talk) 18:00, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • "during which time" - I think should be "during when"
    • "Daniel Clough, the youngest of three children.[4][5]" - I think as it currently reads it may rather mean that his father was the youngest of three children
      • I believe that has been fixed. It's now "...as the youngest of three children born to Bessie Johnson and Daniel Clough" Disavian (talk) 18:03, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • "after which the family moved to Chattanooga, Tennessee." - I don't understand this phrase (after which is referring to what?)
    • "while he was in middle school" - remove while
      • That was rephrased to "Clough also met his future wife, Anne Olivia Robinson, during this time frame" Disavian (talk) 18:03, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • The following two sentences are disconnected and too short
      • "The faculty encouraged him to earn a graduate degree, and he received his master's in 1965.[7]" - also disconnected
        • It is now: "However, the faculty encouraged him to pursue a graduate degree, so he continued his education and received his master's in 1965." Disavian (talk) 18:07, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
      • "and his mother died in " - remove "died"?
        • It is now: "During this time, both of Clough's parents died; his father in 1988 and his mother in 1994." Disavian (talk) 18:07, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Will continue later--Tomcat (7) 22:17, 20 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I have addressed several of the issues described above, in addition to edits previously made by User:Elsceetaria. I will continue to help with this process until all issues have been addressed. Mistercontributer (talk) 03:23, 23 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Link Virginia Tech just to Virginia Tech
    • When I expanded the article, Virginia Tech was a redirect to the longer name. Apparently, that is no longer the case. Disavian (talk) 01:32, 24 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • And delink the second mention
    • I fixed the links to Virginia Tech. Disavian (talk) 01:38, 24 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • In which way was the reorganization of the institute controversial?
  • "This decision was widely criticized" - so odd. Why was it criticized?--Tomcat (7) 13:11, 23 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • The reorganization is covered in more detail at History of Georgia Tech#Restructuring controversy, I have a lot of references that discuss it in detail. tl;dr: "Crecine announced the changes without asking for input, and consequently many faculty members disliked him for his top-down management style" Disavian (talk) 01:38, 24 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Source review - spotchecks not done

  • Print publications should be italicized
    • I believe that I have fixed the places where they were not. Disavian (talk) 18:40, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • What makes FindAGrave a high-quality reliable source?
    • I typically avoid FindAGrave as well, but used it to cite his parents' death dates as 1) that information is not contained in any other source I could find 2) it is noncontroversial information 3) a picture of the grave is included. So yes, I would prefer another source, but that seems like reasonably important uncontroversial information to me. Definitely a grey area as far as RS goes, though. I wouldn't be opposed to commenting out that sentence, but I wouldn't be happy about it. Disavian (talk) 18:44, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
  • FN27, 58: publisher?
  • Don't duplicate cited sources in External links. Nikkimaria (talk) 17:36, 24 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]
    • Re: not duplicating cited sources, I compare the two external links to the official links in Barack Obama.

Addressed several more issues. If possible, please provide feedback regarding changes made so far. Thanks Mistercontributer (talk) 00:59, 25 January 2013 (UTC)[reply]

  • Support A great article from an underrepresented area. Regards.--Tomcat (7) 10:33, 5 February 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Delegate comment -- After remaining open almost six weeks with no consensus to promote, and no activity for almost three weeks, this nom seems to have stalled, so I'll be archiving it shortly. Since its Peer Review was over two years ago, that may be a useful route to go before renominating for FAC. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 06:15, 2 March 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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