User talk:Lopjor10

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feedback

Hi Lopjor10, I saw you have content here for review. By the way, this is the sandbox associated with an IP address. The sandbox associated with your registered username is User:Lopjor10/sandbox.

• There's some reference formatting to make. For consistency, Wikipedia articles are written so that citations come directly after punctuation (no spaces). This is pretty easy to fix in visual editor--just drag and drop the references to the other side of the punctuation
• "Hierarchal behavior in animals has been found to overlap in a number of brain areas" this sentence is a bit unclear in terms of wording. Perhaps "Several areas of the brain contribute to hierarchical behavior in animals"?
• It's hierarchical not hierarchal (2 instances)
• "can effect the individual negatively or positively" since it's a verb, you're looking for affect
• crustaceans not crustations
• When using a technical term, it is often desirable to have the simple definition in parentheses after the term. This would be good specifically for serotonergic
• In primates, high ranking macaques have a larger rostral prefrontal cortex in large social groups is this true for all primates, including humans? I was unsure since this sentence begins "in primates" and the next sentence begins "in humans".
• Would be good to add a brief explanation of the relevance of lesion studies
• Lesions studies in various mammal species, including humans, have also led to deficits in processing social hierarchy cues suggesting this area is important in regulating this information this sentence is unclear to me. Which area? The studies led to deficits? Maybe this could be rephrased that "Other studies have determined that lesions (brain injuries) in x region of the brain led to deficits in processing social hierarchy cues, suggesting this area is important in regulating this information.
• Overall, my suggestion would be to take three steps back and read this over as if you were an average high schooler. What terms would you not understand? How could you phrase things to facilitate understanding? Let me know if you have any questions. Elysia (Wiki Ed) (talk) 18:25, 22 October 2019 (UTC)