User talk:LinearBicycle
| This user is a student editor in University_of_Washington/Interpersonal_Media_(Fall_2020) . |
Welcome![edit]
Hello, LinearBicycle, and welcome to Wikipedia! My name is Ian and I work with Wiki Education; I help support students who are editing as part of a class assignment.
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If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to contact me on my talk page. Ian (Wiki Ed) (talk) 02:00, 10 October 2020 (UTC)
Welcome![edit]
Greetings LinearBicycle (again!) to both Wikipedia and to COM482! I like the username. ;)
A couple quick things. First, I think that Da Hong Pao seems like a good article. Although the article is a stub, you can see that the article is quite advanced compared to many other stubs. As a result, so you might need to dig a bit deeper to make significant improvement to the article.
Second, it looks like you've skipped the step related to moving things to your sandbox are editting in the live article. You should go back and carefully read the instructions (including the video/screencast I created) about working in your sandbox and reach out to me on Discord if you are still having trouble. —mako๛ 14:52, 19 October 2020 (UTC)
Feedback on your draft[edit]
Greeings LinearBicycle!
You've added quite a bit of text to the article and it seems useful. I had a few quick pieces of feedback:
- Given that you seem to be relying so heavily on a single source/reference, I just wanted to make doubly sure that you're doing any close paraphrasing or translation of the material in that source. As you know from the WikiEd material, that's not allowed and it's a very big problem for Wikipedia because it would constitute a copyright violation.
- The history section feels like trivia to me. Maybe retitle and/or rewrite so that it's in prose which Wikipedia prefers to lists (see WP:PROSE).
- I had the same comment about Production and Health Benefit section.
- I think you might want to split Production and Health Benefit into two sections since it's really two subjects.
- Carefully editing for English and style would help.
Once you've done a final pass to clean up some of this stuff, please go ahead and move your changes over into the live version. I think with another pass (and once you verify that there's no copright issue), you'll be in really great shape! —mako๛ 17:31, 4 November 2020 (UTC)