User talk:FacultiesIntact/sandbox/Cote

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Review[edit]

Pretty good start. There are just a few things I'd change:

The opening sentence should be changed to be something like this:

David M. "Dave" Cote (born July 19, 1952) is an American businessman. He is currently the Chairman and CEO of Honeywell.

All headings should use lowercase letters, except the first letter or where the word is part of a proper noun. So, "General Electric" is fine, but "CEO Leadership Style" should be "CEO leadership style" (or even better, "Leadership style".
The first sentence in "Early life" could use some wikilinks, such as:

Cote was born in Manchester, New Hampshire and raised in Suncook.

The last sentence in the first paragraph of "Early life" has a space before the references. Omit it. Omit the spaces anywhere else like this in the article.
Starting in "Early life", the language is too POV. For example, "Cote's aptitude for finance became apparent at age 12." implies he has an aptitude for finance. That is very POV and inappropriate for a Wikipedia article. Reword it so it doesn't present a point of view. If you can't figure out a way to present it in a NPOV manner, omit it.
Fortune Magazine should be wikilinked, like this: Fortune magazine. "Magazine" isn't part of the name of the magazine.
It could use more wikilinks (e.g. Maine), but that's just me; other editors may disagree. Also, try to wikilinks terms on first use (University of New Hampshire), but not thereafter.
More terms to wikilink: General Electric, Jack Welch, Louisville, Kentucky, TRW, Six Sigma management system, Allied Signal, European Union, Pittway, USA Today, Federal Reserve Bank of New York
POV sentence: "Cote's leadership style combines personal magnetism and forward-looking, often contrarian thinking". If that's a quote from somewhere, quote it. Don't present it as Wikipedia opinion. As a matter of fact, that whole paragraph is very POV. Rewrite it to be NPOV and omit items if you have to.
In two places you include two direct external links (Toyota's Production System (TPS) and Harvard Business Review). It looks like there was an attempt to wikilink to them, but failed. The correct way to wikilink to something, but have it display diferrently is to use the pipe symbol, like this: [[Toyota Production System|Toyota Production System (TPS)]].
Compensation section: omit the space between "US" and "$". Also, don't repeat his full name; always use just the surname in bio articles.
External links always comes last. Move the references section before it.
Items in the External links section should be in a bulleted list, like this:

Other than that, nice work! Your extensive sources show that this article was well researched. — Frεcklεfσσt | Talk 03:17, 25 November 2014 (UTC)[reply]

COI note[edit]

I have added talk headers, including the new paid editing template. I have also added the template to use when making "edit requests". FaculitiesIntact, you can work directly on this draft, while it is draft, but if this draft is moved to main Wikipedia space, please stop editing directly, and instead offer proposals here on the Talk page using the edit request function. Thanks.

Please also note that because you have not disclosed the client who is paying for this work, I noted that in the template above. You are currently in violation of the Terms of Use. Jytdog (talk) 00:34, 9 September 2015 (UTC)[reply]