User talk:AeronM/ARchive 4

Adios amoebas!

The more I reflect on it, the more it becomes clear that I am not going to be afforded the benefit of editing here (at least under this name) any longer. Unfortunately, my early mistakes and early enemies continue to follow me around to other pages and other categories, and it has become obvious that they have no intention of stopping their campaign to taint every article I am involved with. I am therefore voluntarily closing this account. I'm sure one or two of my favorite editors will delight in trying to find me again, but I am sincerely hoping you will leave it be.

In my short time here, I have been subjected to more personal attacks and mean-spirited behavior than I could ever have imagined possible. At first, this was so common, I actually thought that's how things were done on wikipedia. I made the mistake of answering bad behavior with bad behavior. Only one editor treated me with respect, and offered advice without belittling or degrading me.

I have made plenty of mistakes, and being a newbie, I'm sure that is to be expected. What was not expected, was the treatment I would receive because of these mistakes. To use a riding analogy, it was like a riding instructor inviting a student who had never ridden a horse to come and have a lesson. During the lesson, the teacher laughed at the student, belittled the student, made fun of student for being so stupid as to not know how to ride a horse, marveled at the student's inability to take direction, made personal comments about the student's intellectual ability, treated the student to endless sarcasm and condescension, and then wondered why the student took it so personally? And then attacked them for taking it so personally! I don't know if it just reflects the poor judgement of the editors who were involved, or if that is the norm at wiki.

An editor once told me that wiki selects for bossy personalities (I may be paraphrasing), and that seems to be true. The bossy types are the ones patrolling pages and jumping on editors who oppose their views. They are also the first to file complaints, RfCs etc in their efforts to intimidate. Another editor said on wikipedia, the field is littered with bodies; those who are not as pushy simply give up and go elsewhere, thereby allowing the bossy types to win. I have seen this happen over and over.

It is remarkable to me the way people are treated in general on wiki. I know this is not limited to wikipedia, but is true of any situation, especially on the internet, where one cannot be seen. People seem to think this means they can behave badly, and a lot of the time they do get away with it. You would think that, working with a medium that is prone to misunderstandings, people would go out of their way to be extra nice, but I find the opposite is true. People are very quick to take offense, and then very quick to retaliate. And so things escalate. The problem here at wiki, tho, is that there is no such thing as a second chance. Your detractors will follow you around forever, all the old battles are brought into the new ones. It simply becomes too tiring to fight the same battle over and over and over.

I would like to say a special thank you to one editor who has been very fair to me here at wiki. User:Una Smith has shown by example what good editing and good behavior looks like, and has never treated me unfairly. I have tried to model my behavior after her example, and hope to continue to do so in the future. Maybe one day I will mentor a newbie as she has mentored me. I am appreciative of her patience and efforts with my regard. She has gone above and beyond. Viele dank, Una. Sie sind ein Freund zu mir gewesen. Ich wünsche Ihnen das beste von Glück. (Verzeihen Sie meinem Deutsch, ist es eine lange Zeit gewesen!)

So, all in all, it was an experience! Now that spring is springing, I will leave you all to it, and concentrate on my horsey projects. A local cable channel has contacted me about picking up my "reality show" on horse rescue, so I'm sure that will keep me busy enough. Good luck to you all, and especially, good luck to the newbies! -- AeronM (talk) 19:13, 4 March 2008 (UTC)