User talk:Aditi bhansali

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Hello, Aditi bhansali! Welcome to Wikipedia! Thank you for your contributions. You may benefit from following some of the links below, which will help you get the most out of Wikipedia. If you have any questions you can ask me on my talk page, or place {{helpme}} on your talk page and ask your question there. Please remember to sign your name on talk pages by clicking or by typing four tildes "~~~~"; this will automatically produce your name and the date. If you are already excited about Wikipedia, you might want to consider being "adopted" by a more experienced editor or joining a WikiProject to collaborate with others in creating and improving articles of your interest. Click here for a directory of all the WikiProjects. Finally, please do your best to always fill in the edit summary field when making edits to pages. Happy editing!  I dream of horses  If you reply here, please ping me by adding {{U|I dream of horses}} to your message  (talk to me) (My edits) @ 22:34, 8 February 2016 (UTC) Getting Started Contributing to Wikipedia The five pillars of Wikipedia • Tutorial • Your first article How to: edit a page • upload an image Getting Help Frequently Asked Questions New contributors' help page Where to: ask questions • make requests Tip of the day Request administrator attention Policies and Guidelines Neutral point of view • Reliable sources Verifiability • Citing sources • No original research What Wikipedia is not • Biographies of living persons Simplified Manual of Style • Three-revert rule Copyrights • Non-free content • Image use policy External links • Spam • Vandalism • Sock puppetry Deletion policy • Conflict of interest • Notability The Community Community Portal • Adopt-a-user program Assume good faith • Civility • Etiquette No personal attacks • Resolving disputes Build consensus • Village pump IRC channels • Mailing lists Discover what's going on in the Wikimedia community (The Signpost) Things to do Be bold in editing • Help develop an article Maintenance • Peer review • Requested articles Join a WikiProject • Translating articles Cleaning up: General • Spam • Vandalism Miscellaneous Categories • Disambiguity • Stubs User pages • Talk pages Useful templates • Tools • User scripts

Peer Review

I will focus on the Health Consequences section:

This section nicely covers both cardiac problems and alternative problems linked with obesity. I would suggest moving the paragraph starting 'high levels of android fat have been associated with obesity' above the paragraph starting 'women who are infertile'. This would mean that your (great) link to anorexia isn't so out of the blue.

The link to offspring is really interesting, but may not fit into this health section. This point has the potential be expanded on and moved to a different section all together. Within this section, you could focus on factors that influence you android fat levels (e.g. maternal age).

You've covered a great amount of studies here, but you could work on linking them together a little bit more. In the case of your two insulin points this could really easily be changed by saying '...as well as both an increased resistance to, and insensitivity to, insulin in obese children and adolescents'. This would enable your points to be seen as really strong by your reader and create a clearer structure.

Additionally, to allow for readers to check phrases they may not fully understand, or may want to read up on (e.g. cardiovascular disease) adding a few extra links to external pages would really enhance your article.

Lastly, having read your section, I was wondering whether there would be an influence of android fat on mental health? from a quick google search I came across this reference:. This may be an interesting start for a new subheading under the health consequences section. This would also allow you to extensively cover both the phsycial and psychological consequences of android fat distribtuion.

Overall, I think this is a great start to the section with only a few minor tweaks necessary to make is read really nicely! Psuncv (talk) 17:32, 12 March 2016 (UTC)