Talk:Sound and Vision/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Tkbrett (talk · contribs) 01:32, 19 May 2021 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Staking my claim on reviewing this article. Tkbrett (✉) 01:32, 19 May 2021 (UTC)

Lead

• "It was later chosen by RCA Records as the first single from the album" can be made active as "RCA Records later chose it as the first single from the album"
• "the song began as an idea": as opposed to? Make this a little more specific.
• "being aided by" -> "aided by"
• link BBC
• "Critically, "Sound and Vision" has been regarded by music critics and biographers as one of Bowie's greatest songs." -> "Music critics and biographers have regarded "Sound and Vision" as one of Bowie's greatest songs."

Writing and recording

• "Sound and Vision" was co-produced by David Bowie and Tony Visconti" -> "David Bowie and Tony Visconti co-produced "Sound and Vision""
• pipe Descending fifths sequence
• link G major
• pipe Melody
• "and was described by biographer David Buckley" -> "later described by biographer David Buckley"

Composition

• pipe crooner
• link Sizzle cymbal
• pipe Bar (music)

Release

• avoid duplicating the word "presented" in the same sentence. Perhaps simply: "When Bowie presented his 11th studio album Low to RCA Records, it shocked the label."
• "The label were intimidated by Bowie, who persuaded the label to release" -> "Bowie intimidated the label, persuading them to release"

Images

• Good.

Referencing

• copyvio gives a 96.2% score due to a Wiki copycat. The next is 25.4%, indicating there are no concerns for this page.
• Checking against sources where able, the page is properly sourced.

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold: I think this was the first Bowie song I heard when I was a teenager, so I'm happy to see it get such a nicely written page. Once the few above concerns are addressed I'll be happy to give it a pass. Tkbrett (✉) 13:08, 20 May 2021 (UTC)

Tkbrett All done. Thanks for the kind words and th quick review! Please let me know if the "began as an idea" rewrite doesn't look good. – zmbro _(talk) 18:02, 20 May 2021 (UTC)

pass: Zmbro, yes, I think that reads a lot better. All thanks to you for making this such an easy review. :) Tkbrett (✉) 19:32, 20 May 2021 (UTC)

Tkbrett Thanks again! :-) – zmbro _(talk) 21:28, 20 May 2021 (UTC)