Talk:Marco Polo/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Starting GA review  Chzz  ►  21:59, 13 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

{{Notdone}} LouriePieterse 07:36, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
 Done checked in EB and ref changed  Chzz  ►  19:22, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "According to The Travels of Marco Polo, the brothers traveled through much of Asia, and met with the Kublai Khan." - should presumably have a ref to one of the manuscripts of the book?
 Done Chapters 1-9--Diaa abdelmoneim (talk) 13:10, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • The PERSONDATA Template:Persondata is wrong; it still has the Dob. Please check all the facts in that template; it's essential for a bio.
 Done--Diaa abdelmoneim (talk) 13:10, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • One ref says, "isbn=08522787-4<!---this can't be right; it should be ten or thirteen digits long--->"
 Done--Diaa abdelmoneim (talk) 13:10, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
 Done - checked, it is correct Diaa abdelmoneim (talk) 13:10, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Lede is too short, choppy, does not summarize the article. Needs expansion to conform with guidelines in Wikipedia:Lead.
{{Notdone}} LouriePieterse 07:36, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
 Done LEDE rewritten  Chzz  ►  19:22, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Convert miles to km, "4,000 miles" (suggest using a template).
 Done --The New Mikemoral ♪♫ 23:15, 13 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
 Done
  • Make the spelling of English words consistent with either American or British spelling - e.g. "traveled" (US), honourable (UK), etc. Please someone check through. Or thru ;-)
Under review to keep consistently BE Mrs. Peel (talk) 04:51, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
{{Notdone}}LouriePieterse 07:36, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Checked as part of GA  Chzz  ►  19:22, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Date formats must be consistent. For example, in Death, it says "January 8, 1324" and "9 January 1324". Please check all dates (inc refs)
 Done, although accessdates for Websites is prefered to stay as ISO date.
  • In Death, "document was not, however, actually signed" and "It was, however, between the sunsets" - do we need the "however"s?
 Done--Diaa abdelmoneim (talk) 13:10, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Childhood "raised by his aunt and uncle. He was well educated" > "raised by his aunt and uncle. Polo was well educated" needed to clarify "he" is Marco, not the uncle?
 Done--Diaa abdelmoneim (talk) 13:10, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Captivity "wealthy merchant. Although he personally " Try to avoid starting the sentence with the qualifier; reword if poss
 Done reworded to "a wealthy merchant. Polo financed other expeditions, but never left Venice again."--Diaa abdelmoneim (talk) 13:16, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Adaption and translation could do with copyedit; the first part is short/choppy sentences, and this part is rather unclear; "Without the luxury of a printing press, during copying and translating many errors were made, resulting in many differences between the various copies."
 Done Reworded last sentence. LouriePieterse 09:26, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Same section; "About 150 copies" change to "Approximately..."?
 Done — DeontalkI'm BACK! 13:16, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Same sentence, "therefore the book is well publicised" - does this logically follow? I know it is cited but...perhaps reword the sentence
 Done Reworded sentence. LouriePieterse 08:12, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Stories "In his book, which has become known in English as The Travels of Marco Polo, " clumsy grammar, perhaps this should go in the prev subsection anyway (as it is about versions of the book)
 Done--Diaa abdelmoneim (talk) 22:53, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "as he had not met Europeans yet." sounds odd. perhaps, "as he had not met any Europeans yet." or "as he had never met any Europeans."? What do you think?
 Done--Diaa abdelmoneim (talk) 22:53, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • 2 sentences begin same, "He also inquired", "He also requested"
 Done--Diaa abdelmoneim (talk) 22:53, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Instead, they followed " - try not to start sentence with qualifier; consider rewording
 Done--Diaa abdelmoneim (talk) 22:53, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Para beginning "In 1271, the three Polos" - choppy; needs rewriting, sentence structure sorting out.
 Done
  • "Marco knew four different " and "Marco was sent on many" (and elsewhere?) I understand the use of first-name to clarify which member of the Polo family, but I'm not sure that this 'first-name terms' is acceptable
 Done--Diaa abdelmoneim (talk) 22:53, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Burma - could someone please check if this should now be "Myanmar" instead? I'm not sure; I see the article is still called "Burma", so maybe I'm wrong; I know that it's quite disputed.
 Done Referenced fact. LouriePieterse 13:48, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "It's possible" > "It is possible" (don't use contractions)
 Done — DeontalkI'm BACK! 13:15, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "declined requests from the Polos to leave" > "declined the Polos requests to leave" (active not passive; avoids the from/to problem)
 Done — DeontalkI'm BACK! 13:33, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "worried about their own safety to return home" doesn't make sense grammatically. In fact, the whole sentence has too many clauses - needs restructuring. Erm - oh, and the rest of the paragraph :-)
 Done Reworded sentence. LouriePieterse 09:45, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "sailed first to the port of Singapore, then travelling" should be "sailed first to the port of Singapore, then travellED"?
 Done — DeontalkI'm BACK! 13:33, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Some redirects, probably need fixing (but see WP:NOTBROKEN; Lede: Venetian Republic; Stories: Berke Khan, Shangdu, Persia, Zaitun; In pop culture: "Marco Polo"; Commemoration: clipper ship, frequent flyer program, Venice; Cartography: European voyages of exploration, nautical map; See also: Ghengis Khan; Refs: Cathay Pacific Airways Limited; Biblio: Encyclopaedia Brittanica, Inc, The World Book Encyclopedia, United States of America (last should not be a link; common term)
 Done LouriePieterse 14:00, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Pic caption, "The Polo family arrives in a Chinese city." - I question whether "China" is an appropriate Wikilink. Do we know which city?
 Done LouriePieterse 14:23, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Marco Polo's Le livre des merveilles" is only mentioned in a pic caption; is this the original name of the book? This needs explaining in "Adaption and translation"
 Done It is the Latin name for The Travels of Marco Polo. LouriePieterse 14:41, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The Fra Mauro map." pic caption - can we add a date to that?
 Done LouriePieterse 14:53, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Re. "Marco Polo in costume." - I'm not sure about the size and placement of this image; perhaps it should be on the right, and perhaps a little bit smaller? I think "Map of the journey" could be bigger? I think we might have a 'better' map being made though...Opinions?
 Done Resized the map, couldn't find another version. LouriePieterse 15:20, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Not sure about this, just a thought...I note there are well-spaced pics throughout except around 'Death'; anything appropriate could go here? Alternatively, how about File:Marco Polo, Il Milione, Chapter CXXIII and CXXIV.jpg in 'adaption and translation' - or a crop of it or something? It's such a nice pic.
 Done Added image to section. LouriePieterse 20:27, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Added image to Death section. LouriePieterse 20:37, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Infobox - I think that The Travels of Marco Polo should be a wikilink to that article
 Done (also in paragraph) — DeontalkI'm BACK! 13:33, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Infobox - It says "Parents", but then just lists one; we really need to sort out this question over his mothers name, and source it.
 Done Mother is unknown. LouriePieterse 16:25, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • File:Marco Polo portrait.jpg - there is limited info in this file, but it looks like it would be possible to find out more about it; it would be nice to improve the caption to give some more specifics, ie artist, etc.
 Done LouriePieterse 13:24, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Refs; "Parker 2004" does not link to the biblio entry
 Done LouriePieterse 19:55, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Refs: "Edwards, Mike, Marco Polo, Part 1, National Geographic Society, pp. 1, http://ngm.nationalgeographic.com/ngm/0105/feature1/index.html, retrieved on 2009-07-10" is a publication, therefore I think it should use the Harvard-style and link to the details of the publication in the bibliography. Not sure, someone please check.
 Done Changed to Hardvard-Style. LouriePieterse 06:23, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref "Lonely Planet" needs to be harvard-style
 Done Someone replaced this reference. LouriePieterse 19:38, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref to "emmys.org" does not link to a specific page; is that possible?
{{Notdone}} Doing a search reveals results, but doesn't have direct link. LouriePieterse 06:37, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
 Done No other RS better, so explained search criteria within ref  Chzz  ►  19:47, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref to "new-brunswick.net" - this looks like a tertiary source, as it lists its references at the bottom. It would be nice if we could source this to a better ref, such as a book
{{Notdone}} LouriePieterse 07:36, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Now done; solid RS book found, cited  Chzz  ►  02:33, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Childhood, Constantinople - wikilink?
 Done — DeontalkI'm BACK! 13:26, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Voyages "They had probably traveled nearly " - do we need "probably" and "nearly"? Check the source; can we be a bit more definitive?
 Done LouriePieterse 07:22, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Captivity "...look into the inner workings of China, India, and Japan, among others" - among(st) other what?
 Done I don't have the book, so I've just reworded the sentence. LouriePieterse 07:22, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "where his father and uncles " - this is the fisrt mention of multiple uncles, I think; is this correct?
 Done Only one uncle, must be a typo. LouriePieterse 07:26, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "convent of San Lorenzo" - wikilink?
 Done Added link. LouriePieterse 20:06, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Adaption and translation "printing press" perhaps wikilink, because the origins of it would be directly relevent?
 Done LouriePieterse 06:40, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "...the Persian port of Hormuz" wikilink?
 Done Added link. LouriePieterse 20:14, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Marco Polo would be at about 21 years-old" - grammar
 Done Mrs. Peel (talk) 04:51, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "date of their arrival is not known and ranges between 1271, 1274 and 1275" - how can it range between 3 dates?
 Done--Diaa abdelmoneim (talk) 23:00, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Further exploration "Far East", "Christian Kingdom in the East" - should these be initial capitals?
 Done LouriePieterse 06:44, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Commemoration'"The Marco Polo sheep, a subspecies of Ovis aries, is named for the explorer,[20] who described the species" - is it a species or a subspecies?
 Done Is the subspecies. LouriePieterse 08:27, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Cartography" the quotation ends, "and his father Ramusio v.3" - presumably, this should end "and his father." and the "Ramusio v.3" is a reference to some book, which we should therefore try to cite (or at least sort out the punctuation)
 Done LouriePieterse 06:53, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • See also full-stops missing from the end of sentences.
 Done LouriePieterse 13:30, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Note 4, at the end, "(Aelian Nat. An. III. 3, IV. 32; Amoen. Exoticae; Ferrier, H. of Afghans, p. 294; J. A. S. B. XV. 160.)" - perhaps we should add these two books into the biblio, and link to them? Check other examples; if we cite a quote (in a footnote) that contains a citation, should we detail the citation? I'm not sure, but I don't see that it would do any harm; it's a source of info, after all.
{{Notdone}} LouriePieterse 07:36, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
It's fine with the link; it's not essential to ref the ref'd ref in note :-)  Chzz  ►  19:22, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Biblio - we list "Daftary, Farhad" but it doesn't seem to be referenced anywhere (check this; why?)
 Done Created Further reading section. LouriePieterse 06:58, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • As above, for "Hart, H. Henry" (check this; why?)
 Done LouriePieterse 06:59, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • As above, for "Otfinoski" (check this; why?)
 Done LouriePieterse 06:59, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • As above, for "Power" (check this; why?)
 Done LouriePieterse 06:59, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Added both. LouriePieterse 07:05, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

 Chzz  ►  01:27, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • Re "Marco in costume" - Left-aligned images should not be placed at the start of subsections.
 Done LouriePieterse 15:07, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • re. "Portrait of Marco Polo" I realise that it was me that suggested more detail about the top pic, but I wonder now if it is a bit much? "Images need succinct captions. (GA criteria)" - perhaps some of the info should be a note; please discuss and see what others think is appropriate
 Done LouriePieterse 18:46, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Biblio - Encyc Brit - add authors, from web I see "Author: Britannica Editors" - that will do. Then the formatting will be more consistent.
 Done LouriePieterse 08:32, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Biblio "Winchester, Simon" has a different date format to the other entries; actually, can we please check through all of the biblio cites and make sure that all the parameters are in exactly the same order and format? For example, google "Compass Point Books" and find out what city they are in, etc.

:{{Notdone}} LouriePieterse 07:36, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done; biblio extensively reformatted, checked, and all possible details put in standard format  Chzz  ►  02:33, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • References, web references need the author, publisher, publishing date and access date. (GA criteria)
 Done LouriePieterse 08:49, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Re. 15,000 miles / km. In the conversion, the latter unit should be abbreviated, for e.g. 5 miles (8 km). This is best achieved with a template; {{convert|5|mi|km|0}}. (as has been done on the 4,000 miles part)
 Done LouriePieterse 18:51, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • re. the "See also" and "Main article" - are these the best templates to use? Would "Further information" be more appropriate? I don't know; please discuss/decide
 Done Added Further information where appropriate. LouriePieterse 19:30, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
{{Notdone}} LouriePieterse 07:36, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Accepted as possible future expansion.  Chzz  ►  02:33, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Also, re. the French article, there are some interesting bits of info in there. here is an auto-translation; the The "Contents of book", "Chapter Highlights" and "Marco Polo: true or false?" parts, particularly. We need to check that, and see if it is worthwhile filtering any of it into the English article.
{{Notdone}} LouriePieterse 07:36, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Accepted as possible future expansion.  Chzz  ►  02:33, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • There is some interesting background info on the subject of "No genuine portrait of Marco Polo exists", in the 1911 encyc. I think that some of this could perhaps be added, somewhere. The key bit is here, the full 1911 article is here, and there is a book which shows the pic we use here.
{{Notdone}} LouriePieterse 07:36, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Accepted as possible future expansion.  Chzz  ►  02:33, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "death cannot be determined. It was, between the sunsets of " why the comma?
 DoneIrunongames • play 23:24, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In popular culture" and "Commemoration" are a bit on the short side, to be sections of their own; I don't know if we can expand them, or merge them, or what... I'm just noting it per GA criteria, short sections and paragraphs are discouraged.
 Done Merged sections. LouriePieterse 08:54, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Adaption and translation "What is left are early manuscripts which are significantly different from one another. There are many early manuscripts but they are drastically different from one another." Duplication; this bit actually needs a bit of a rewrite. "Approximately 150 copies in various languages are known to exist, therefore the book is well publicised" for example - the last clause there seems a bit strange; perhaps not needed.
 Done Reworded sentence. LouriePieterse 08:21, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Stories, "The party sailed first..." - para needs rewriting; awkward clauses, sentence starting with "There".
 Done Reworded paragraph. LouriePieterse 10:08, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Death "he was not able to accomplish" > "he was unable to accomplish" (Avoid using "not", eg. "songs previously not heard" → "songs previously unheard")
 DoneIrunongames • play 23:24, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Stories - as above, "The exact date of their arrival is not known" > "The exact date of their arrival is unknown"
 DoneIrunongames • play 23:24, 14 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Stories "They became increasingly worried about their own safety to return home, believing that if Kublai Khan were to die before they left China, Kublai's enemies might turn against them, because of their close involvement with the ruler." - not very happy with this sentence, because it differs in facts given from the source (The 'world book'). In there, it says; "As time passed, the Polos began to worry about returning home safely. Kublai Khan did not want the Polos to leave China, but they believed that if Kublai Khan were to die before they left China, his enemies might capture them" - this isn't really the same information. The "believed" thing is quite subjective; needs rewording.
{{Not done}} LouriePieterse 09:58, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Now reworded  Chzz  ►  02:33, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Childhood "Polo was well educated" - I know that it is cited, but possibly WP:PEACOCK? What do you think?
{{Not done}} LouriePieterse 09:58, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Now reworded  Chzz  ►  02:33, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Death "The will was dated as the January 9, 1324, though due to the Venetian law" The word though is informal
 Done LouriePieterse 07:12, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Childhood "considerable wealth" vague
 Done Reworded sentence. LouriePieterse 09:04, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Captivity "Marco would have three children" - why is this suddenly future tense? Perhaps "Marco had three children"?
 Done LouriePieterse 09:00, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Death "sister in law" should be hyphenated, I think?
 Done LouriePieterse 07:12, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Adaption and translation "What is left are early manuscripts" awkward. Perhaps, "What remains are early manuscripts" ?
 Done LouriePieterse 08:58, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

 Chzz  ►  00:05, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Comments[edit]

So, almost all of the issues above have now been dealt with, and I think that the article is getting close to GA pass. The main outstanding issues right now are a) the lede section (not sufficiently summarizing the article - see WP:LEDE), and the possible addition of info from the French article. I would also like to see improvements to the prose in certain places - many of which are detailed in the remaining minor points, above. I hope to review things again in approx. 10 hours from now.  Chzz  ►  06:33, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

As Chzz said, we are almost there. Sadly I am going today on holiday. I am going to improve the article until the last minute. Ive added not done templates to all of the points needing attention. I believe that we should first focus on the main points Chzz lifted. It was nice working with the Spotligth group for the first time! May there be may more! Kind regards, LouriePieterse 07:42, 15 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

All the above points addressed[edit]

I am now satisfied that the above queries have all been addressed, and that the outstanding issues fall under the remit of 'future expansion', and are above and beyond GA criteria.  Chzz  ►  02:37, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

GA Checklist[edit]

1. Well-written:

  • (a) the prose is clear and the spelling and grammar are correct
    • Reads well now. Scope for future improvement to prose, but well-structured, clear, spelling and grammar checked.
  • (b) it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, jargon, words to avoid, fiction, and list incorporation.
    • Checked and edited for MOS; good clear lede, logical layout, no jargon, no peacock words etc. No lists.

2. Factually accurate and verifiable:

  • (a) it provides references to all sources of information, and at minimum contains a section dedicated to the attribution of those sources in accordance with the guide to layout;
    • Refs all check out; citations include sufficient details, consistent style
  • (b) at minimum, it provides in-line citations from reliable sources for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons
    • Well referenced with RS. Balanced and neutral, multiple sources

(c) it contains no original research.

  • Does not contain OR

3. Broad in its coverage:

  • (a) it addresses the main aspects of the topic;
    • Care has been taken to try and separate the known facts from the apocraphyl story, which is an essential factor in this article. A reasonable weight is given to the stories, which do represent the fundamental importance of Polo, but a perspective is given by stating the facts in one part, the story in another.
  • (b) it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
    • Good level of detail. Summary-style used to separate the bulk of information about his father/uncle (which is not directly related); further 'see-also' used appropriately for the book and a nice link to 'age of discovery' helping to "build the web".

4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without bias.

  • Quoted non-neutral phrases used appropriately; care taken to show discrepancies with sources and avert the inherent difficulties in gathering the 'facts'

5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day-to-day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.

  • Check; no recent edit-warring (though there was some historically) - now, just the vast swathe of contribs during recent improvements!

6. Illustrated, if possible, by images:

  • (a) images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content
    • All images have valid tagging information; no non-free images used
  • (b) images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
    • All in sensible places and appropriate captions.

This article has passed the GA review process, and I will change it to GA status --  Chzz  ►  02:37, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Scope for further improvements[edit]

  • Burial (San Lorenzo di Venezia) - seems to be some possible controversy over this; I read it might infact be an older church - so that could be documented.
  • Map - a request is outstanding to develop a better map of the voyages, and this would certainly improve article clarity.
  • As described above, there is interesting information in the French Wikipedia article and 1911 Encyc. that could be checked.

Generally, browsing the various sources, I think that a lot more information could be added. For example, the parts in 'death' goes into some detail (from one book), and similar details are available concerning other parts of Polo's life; if someone were to read a couple of bios, it would be easy to add more details and make a very interesting article. Currently, there is too much weight given to certain sources (particularly the "World Book", and particularly in some sections (Death) - I know that the details have been cross-checked, but it would be a better article if other sources were added to give different perspectives where possible.

This is a significant historic article, and I hope that it can be progressed to "Featured article" status one day. Fantastic efforts by all concerned in getting this into shape.  Chzz  ►  02:37, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review by MuZemike[edit]

Per IRC discussion, here are my issues with the article I have seen so far:

  • The book became known as The Travels of Marco Polo, and depicts the Polos journeys throughout Asia, giving Europeans their first comprehensive look into the inner workings of the Far East, including China, India, and Japan. → citation needed; not fully-compliant with GA criterion 2b.
 Fixed  Chzz  ►  21:36, 19 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • For the size of the article (which is only about 25KB), too many (sub)sections. Per WP:LAYOUT, too many (sub)sections inhibit the flow of the prose. I recommend cutting out some of the subsections or consolidating them. What you especially want to avoid if at all possible are one-paragraph (sub)sections.
Comment I disagree, in this specific case. WP:LAYOUT says that "Very short [...] sections inhibit the flow" - and I do not consider any of the sections to be very short. I think that it is a logically laid-out article.
  • Per WP:NBSP, when you are using numbers followed by a unit of measure (such as length, distance, or even currency), you must include a non-breaking space between the number and unit of measure. In this article's example, "220 soldi", "15,000 miles", "24,140 km" need to have non-breaking spaces; in addition they are also needed between the name and roman numerals, such as in "Pope Clement XIV"
 Fixed  Chzz  ►  21:36, 19 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Captions are not within WP:CAPTION and hence does not yet meet GA criterion 6b: if captions are sentence fragments, then there is to be no end-punctuation; if captions are complete sentences, then all sentences in that caption must be complete sentences, and end-punctuation is to be used (the latter applies to the San Lorenzo caption).
 Fixed  Chzz  ►  21:36, 19 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Also, for future reference (will correct myself and will not hold against in the GAN):

  • Per WP:DASH, no spaces to the left or right of an emdash. If endashes are used for the purpose of separating prose, then spaces are to be used; for numbers, no.
I assume you mean the dates in the Lede, which was not actually using an ndash.
I checked several other FA's, for example:

William Cooley 

'''William Cooley''' (1783 – 1863)

Tom Crean 

'''Tom Crean''' (20 July 1877 – 27 July 1938)
I've not made it consistent with these;
'''Marco Polo''' ({{IPA-en|ˈmɑrkoʊ ˈpoʊloʊ|-|en-us-marco polo.ogg}}) (''c''. 1254 – January 8, 1324)
 Chzz  ►  21:56, 19 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Avoid redundant citations. Only one of the same citation is needed at the end of the material in which that citation covers.
I disagree; I see nothing in Wikipedia:Citing sources#When to cite sources that says this. Is this stated somewhere?  Chzz  ►  22:02, 19 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • I also strongly suggest placing alt text in all the images as that is a new requirement for FAC. See WP:ALT for the specific guidelines.
Comment Fair enough; I approve of that idea too - but this was a GA review, not an FA. Please 'sofixit' if you like :-)  Chzz  ►  22:05, 19 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

That's what I can find right now. Images otherwise look good (they are all PD and licensed accordingly), article is written neutrally and with no bias, all the sources look fine (however, on these Yule & Courier references, you may want to include page numbers along with chapter numbers for easy reference; you may get chewed for that at FAC), there is no evidence of recent significant content disputes or edit-warring, and someone else will be covering the copyediting as I am not versed very well in British English grammar and usage. I'll add whatever else above if I find anything else. MuZemike 20:18, 16 July 2009 (UTC)[reply]

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