Talk:Mad Max (2015 video game)/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 17:05, 7 August 2016 (UTC)
Mine. JAGUAR 17:06, 7 August 2016 (UTC)
Initial comments[edit]
- "Mad Max is an action-adventure video game set in an open world environment and based on the Mad Max film universe" - try Mad Max is an open world action-adventure video game set in the Mad Max film universe. Though you can ignore of rephrase this if you want, I think it sounds cleaner this way
- " on Microsoft Windows, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One on September 2015 worldwide" - and on Xbox One in September
- "the Magnum Opus with his assistant Chumbucket"- along with this assistant
- "but none of them were successfully released" - but neither of them were
- I would recommend sorting the lead into three paragraphs, per WP:LEADLENGTH. A short forth paragraph seems choppy here
- Too many uses of "in which" in the gameplay section. "Max is also customizable, in which his clothing, appearance, fighting skills and weapons can be modified" - try Max is also customizable, with his clothing, appearance, fighting skills and weapons being modifiable
- "Each region has a boss, who can be found (and defeated) in their base" - why the need for brackets? It would be fine without
- "Max can be guided by Chum in strategically completing his objectives" - why not Chumbucket? Unless that is their nickname in the game
- "Max can also eat small animals (such as rodents and maggots from decomposing corpses) to replenish his health" - again, no need for brackets here, it would read fine without them
- "According to Avalanche, due to the Big Nothing the game's map is infinite" - this sentence is a run-on, try According to Avalanche, due to the "Big Nothing", the game's map is infinite
- "Avalanche Studios later confirmed that he would have an Australian accent" - does this mean that his voice actor got replaced?
- One of the paragraphs in the Release section could be merged
- Similarly, the last two paragraphs in the Post-release section should be merged to improve flow.
- "behind Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (released the same day)" - ...Phantom Pain, which was released on the same day.
Nice work with this, as usual! On hold until all are clarified. 
JAGUAR 17:19, 7 August 2016 (UTC)
- @Jaguar: - Thanks for the review! I have fixed most of the issues you mentioned above. AdrianGamer (talk) 04:02, 8 August 2016 (UTC)
