Talk:Lipizzan/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Go Phightins! (talk · contribs) 02:27, 10 June 2014 (UTC)
I shall commence my review shortly. Generally, I first read through the article, noting any prose adjustments or items that jump out at me, and then I paste in one of the GA checklists, and go through that. Go Phightins! 02:27, 10 June 2014 (UTC)
- The horses at the Spanish Riding School are trained using traditional methods based on classical dressage that date back hundreds of years. What dates back hundreds of years, the methods or classical dressage? If the latter, then it should be dressage, which dates back ... If the former, then perhaps it could be reworked so it is not ambiguous.
- Rephrased. Better? --MTBW
- Forgive what is undoubtedly a stupid question, but what exactly is a stud? The term seems to be used in multiple contexts, so inferring is proving a little difficult ...
- Wikilinked at first use. Beter? and, in this context, a farm where stallions live, or "at stud" in verb form, meaning that the stallion is getting to do, um, the work of being a stallion (as opposed to being in training, and NOT getting to, um, do the stallion stuff....) --MTBW
- In addition to the foundation stallion lines, there were 20 "classic" mare lines, fourteen of which exist today. I believe it should be In addition to the foundation stallion lines, there were 20 "classic" mare lines, 14 of which exist today. per the MOS
- Fixed--MTBW
- In 1729 Charles VI commissioned the building of the Winter Riding School in Vienna and in 1735, the building was completed that remains the home of the Spanish Riding School today Is this particularly relevant to the breed of horse?
- Yes, it is the home performance hall for the horses, kind of like Yankee Stadium to the Yankees, if that makes sense. --MTBW
- However, following the Treaty of Schönbrunn in 1809, the horses were evacuated three more times during the unsettled period in Austria, resulting in the loss of many horses and the destruction of the studbooks covering the years prior to 1700. What's a studbook? A recording of "studs"?? Were there any consequences of the book's destruction?
- Wikilinked, rephrased and clarified. Better? --MTBW
- Thus, the animals were divided up between several different studs in the new postwar nations of Austria, Italy, Hungary, Czechoslovakia, Romania and Yugoslavia. Is the "up" necessary? Would "the animals were divided among several different ..."
- Fixed --MTBW
- All right; I am down to the characteristics section, and will continue this later. Nice article, so far! Go Phightins! 02:27, 10 June 2014 (UTC)
- OK, resuming the review. I apologize again for the delay. Go Phightins! 18:47, 13 June 2014 (UTC)
- I assume hands is the standard measurement for horses?
- Yes. And we spent a lot of time with very good folks in template land creating the convert template that did hands, inches and cm! --MTBW
- Image suggestion - if you are following the L-R-L-R pattern (which I think would look best, there are two consecutive ones on the right in the last section, and at least on my screen, it would look better of those two alternated R-L which would make the one in the characteristics section on the right, which would look better, as the text would no longer be detached from the header. Personal preference, though.
- I'm not bound to a strict L-R-L-R where it is illogical, but I moved around the images so they are now that way, swapping one that was oriented the "wrong" direction for where it needed to go, does that make it better? --MTBW
- "...become lighter each year as the graying process takes place, with the process being complete at between 6 and 10 years of age" to "lighten each year as the graying occurs, ultimately concluding when the horse is around six to ten years of age
- Remove or rephrase "contrary to popular belief" - it sounds cliche-y, and has little encyclopedic value "a common misconception" might be better
- OK, fixed --MTBW
- "...Other writers and equestrians who strongly influenced the training methods in place today at the Spanish Riding School include Federico Grisone to Others who have influenced the school's training methods include ... (too many "todays")
- Rephrased. Better? --MTBW
-- Go Phightins! 18:47, 13 June 2014 (UTC)
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria
- Is it reasonably well written?
- A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:
- There are still some jargony sections, particularly in the training section and the last two history subsections.
- I'm taking a whack at what I think needs improvement, but ping with hidden text at trouble spots - or here - the areas of concern... as an aficionado, it's sometimes difficult for me to assess what technical language can be figured out from context, where the wikilinking of a word covers it, and where it's total gibberish. We have an extensive glossary of equestrian terms that we keep around to help with linking where there isn't an article otherwise. --MTBW
- There are still some jargony sections, particularly in the training section and the last two history subsections.
- B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
- The lead looks all right.
- A. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors:
- Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
- A. Has an appropriate reference section:
- Assuming good faith on the off-line sources.
- B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:
- Yup.
- C. No original research:
- Assuming good faith again ...
- A. Has an appropriate reference section:
- Is it broad in its coverage?
- A. Major aspects:
- I wasn't left wondering; seems to have similar content to other featured content on horses. I looked at Arabian horse, for example. There is not a ton on "modern uses" in this article (a fair amount on training, but are there any other important topics? I don't know ...).
- B. Focused:
- Very comfortable length, and little deviation.
- A. Major aspects:
- Is it neutral?
- Fair representation without bias:
- Yup.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Is it stable?
- No edit wars, etc:
- No edit wars of which I am aware.
- No edit wars, etc:
- Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- I reviewed all the images, and they all appear to have valid licensing, assuming good faith on those who said the images were their own work (I checked usernames, and have no reason to believe otherwise).
- B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
- I will say, for what it's worth, that I was told that image captions should never have ending punctuation. That said, I make it a point not to delve too deep into the MOS, so I have no strong opinion. Whatever you want to do.
- I killed caption punctuation. No worries. --MTBW
- I will say, for what it's worth, that I was told that image captions should never have ending punctuation. That said, I make it a point not to delve too deep into the MOS, so I have no strong opinion. Whatever you want to do.
- A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:
- Overall: I just need to do another readthrough for jargon, but otherwise, I think we are OK. Go Phightins! 02:37, 16 June 2014 (UTC)
