Talk:Jorge Boehringer

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Hi this was my first attempt at an article here. I apologise that it sounds like a "news release" as was indicated in the comment pasted on the page immediately. That was probably my attempt at a neutral point of view. I can try to edit soon, or I can try another article. Perhaps my genuine interest in the subject came across as advertising, though I am really not trying to sell anything, just information you know. I don't really think that this page should qualify for "speedy deletion" on those grounds. After all, it is factual information and I was attempting to be objective. I shall review the style guide once again and try and revise, or maybe someone else will have a go at it.thx,Bob Doubles (talk) 01:04, 17 February 2008 (UTC)BD[reply]

It isn't quite enough for speedy deletion, but it is close. The {{newsrelease}} notice is merely a warning, and a fairly mild one at that. Let me know if you need any help. - Realkyhick (Talk to me) 06:39, 17 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I based the structure of the page on another existing Wikipedia page for another Northern California multimedia artist=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christopher_Willits. Now that I have gone back and looked at the talk page for THAT article I realize that there were similar issues with that article. Perhaps shortening the second paragraph substantially would keep it more to "just the facts" rather than trying to describe Boehringer's music. Have you an example of a "perfect" artist/musician page for a significant but emerging artist that I might look at maybe? ThanksBob Doubles (talk) 10:36, 17 February 2008 (UTC)BD[reply]

Not really, as there are so many articles here, but your first idea seems like a good start. Try going with "just the facts" in the second paragraph, and then we'll see where to go from there. - Realkyhick (Talk to me) 10:42, 17 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I made quite a few changes, tried to flatten the tone. I left the "news release" tag on there though, not sure what the protocol is for removing it, or if it is time to. keep me or whomever else wishes a try at this posted, thanks.RobBob Doubles (talk) 18:46, 19 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I removed it, since I first placed it. I still think the article needs some work — frankly, I think it is a bit too detailed for his level of notability, but that's just my opinion. The long direct quotes from him are a bit of overkill, maybe just a shorter comment with the existing link to that quote would suffice. But you're making a good-faith effort to work on this, and that's the main thing, so keep on going and let us know if you need any help. - Realkyhick (Talk to me) 19:35, 19 February 2008 (UTC)[reply]

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