Talk:Gayville, South Dakota

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Tone of article[edit]

The article reads like some quaint small time newspaper. Tone change, please. 17.103.183.36 (talk) 18:07, 8 December 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Fictious election[edit]

Wikipedia is an encyclopedia, not a place for fictitious stories. The following has been removed as such17.103.183.36 (talk) 18:11, 8 December 2009 (UTC):[reply]

2009 Election[edit]

The 2009 mayoral election will be taking place on Tuesday, November 3. Two candidates have filed for the open seat, left open by the untimely death of 8 time mayor, Bill "Bubba" Watkins. Tim Hagedorn is the Republican candidate, and Ryan Allen is the Whig Party candidate. Both individuals are carpet baggers who have returned home after moving away some time ago. The city is excited to debut its new digital voting machines. The machines allow users to push a button for their choice. Write in candidates are done with an electronic pen.

Campaign Issues[edit]

Several issues are of hot debate for the mayoral election. When asked about his number one campaign goal, Hagedorn replied "I think we have a very large problem with vedio stores not being open up past late when you are brunk and want to watch something". Allen cited his number one issue as tourism. "I think it is time to bring back the show JAG, and Gayville would give tax breaks for production that would drive tourism back to Gayville" he stated.

In the past week, there have been a flurry of negative TV advertisements. Allen painted Hagedorn as a heavy drinker, while Hagedorn had an infamous ad where he said Allen lacked the fundamental smarts to be mayor. Things reached a heated level in a town hall debate on Oct. 23rd, when Allen accused Hagedorn of stealing his World 3 on 3 Championship plaque. Hagedorn refuted the claim, but was seen with a plaque in his turqoise Taurus, while photos have been uncovered showing his office having another plaque bolted against the wall.

Gayville did not have a mayoral election in November. It is scheduled for next summer. Everything about this election, though entertaining, is fiction and should be identified as such.

Election Results[edit]

In one of the closest elections in the history of Gayville, the results are still not finalized. What appeared to be a slim Allen victory has been threatened with a legal fight via Hagedorn. Initial results showed a tie vote of 242 – 242. The election was awarded to Allen due to a pre-existing coin flip that Allen won that took place at their last town hall debate on Oct. 23rd. Both candidates immediately cited fraud, as the total number of votes cast outweighs the entire population of the town by over 70 votes. Allen phoned Hagedorn at 11:50 p.m. demanding that Hagedorn concede victory, even though it was by virtue of a tie breaker. Allen cited that there was no need for a recount due to the flawlessness of the automatic push button voting technology. Upon further review, it was determined that when Hagedorn himself went into the voting booth, he “fat fingered” the button, and was unable to push just one button at a time. The subsequent pushing of two buttons at once essentially nullified or wiped out what may have been his intended vote for himself.

Court Case[edit]

On the morning of Wednesday November 4, Hagedorn filed a series of lawsuits in Gayville City Court. Among his charges were a) that the coin in question during their coin flip in lue of a tie was in fact a double sided Kennedy (50 cent piece). That b) under the AWDA (Americans with Disabilities Act) that he was unfairly denied his right to vote because his fingers were too triangle shaped to only select one button while voting. And c) that Allen unlawfully intimidated voters into voting for him based on the fact that he was dressed in full military uniform (with machine gun loaded and pointed at voters). Due to the seriousness of these charges, the litigation has been moved to the top of the city court hearings, and a decision by the judge in the case is expected by the end of the week. While the candidates couldn’t talk directly about the case itself, they issued the following statements: Hagedorn: “It is with great respect for the law that we allow the court case to work its way through the system, so that I can rightfully be declared the leader of Gayville” Allen: “It is unfortunate that we are putting the taxpayers through this process, as everyone knows I am a true Gayvillian, and hopefully the wait won’t be too much longer until I lead all of Gayville”.

Litigation Decisions[edit]

After several hours of testimony and deliberation it was decided by Judge Yura Heaumo that in fact Hagedorn had a solid reason to feel that he was discriminated against, and essentially ordered a “revote” by Hagedorn, paving the way for him to vote for himself, and thus breaking the tie. Hagedorn was sworn in as mayor over the weekend on Saturday, November 7. It was widely assumed that Allen would appeal the case, but he shocked the legal world by instead quickly filing a resolution before Hagedorn was sworn in that was adopted by acting mayor Judge Yura Heaumo that legally changed the American lexicon to refer to accidentally hitting 2 keys or buttons at once from “fat fingering” to “Tim Hagedorning”. Heaumo, possibly feeling sympathy towards Allen granted him the request, making it official.

Another November Surprise[edit]

On Monday morning, November 9, the town of Gayville was thrown into turmoil again, as at the insistence of defeated mayoral candidate Ryan Allen, he persuaded the local sheriff of Gayville, Chad Crowley, to open an investigation into the death of former mayor Bubba Watkins. It was assumed that he died of natural causes, but on further review, and an exhumination of the body, it was determined that he may have been murdered. Apparently, Allen pointed out to police that fibers from a pair of American flag jean shorts (jorts) found at Watkins home by his body didn’t match any clothing that he owned, and a pair of “boob muffs” were on the kitchen table. Relatives had never seen them before, and while it had been cold outside the day he was found, no other evidence pointed to Watkins being outside for at least 72 hours before he died. Police are investigating all leads to determine whose earmuffs and shorts these belonged to.

External links modified[edit]

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External links modified[edit]

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I have just modified 4 external links on Gayville, South Dakota. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

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Semi-protected edit request on 31 March 2022[edit]

Population 2020: 382 2600:1014:B011:481E:47FC:35B:764D:1C1A (talk) 14:36, 31 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

 Not done: please provide reliable sources that support the change you want to be made. ScottishFinnishRadish (talk) 15:29, 31 March 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Semi-protected edit request on 26 July 2022[edit]

The Mayor of Gayville is now Nick Huber, it Can be found on the town website, gayvillesd.org

Thank you! 24.230.173.43 (talk) 04:12, 26 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the information- I have done the edit. Anonymous 512 (talk) 20:03, 29 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
 Done Padgriffin Griffin's Nest 16:00, 31 July 2022 (UTC)[reply]
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