Talk:Dumbo (2019 film)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Lizzy150 (talk · contribs) 17:29, 20 July 2020 (UTC)

Hey, I'll be reviewing this article! Great work so far. To speed things up, I'm going to make minor copyedits too (though feel free to revert if you have a strong opinion). Here's my comments so far — L150 17:29, 20 July 2020 (UTC)

Lede

• "live-action reimagining" - could we use "remake" instead?
• Could we remove the references in the lede, as this section should just summarise everything in the article?

 Done all. Rusted AutoParts 00:54, 21 July 2020 (UTC)

Cast

• Is it necessary to state "at Medici Brothers' Circus" for each character?

 Done. Rusted AutoParts 00:51, 21 July 2020 (UTC)

Development

• "which a touched Frey greenlit" - could we rephrase this as it didn't make sense until a few reads? eg. "which Frey gave the greenlight to"
• "Most of the filming was done at Pinewood Studios and Cardington Airfield in England" - could we merge this sentence with the first sentence of the paragraph? eg. "Principal photography had begun by July 2017, at Pinewood Studios and Cardington Airfield in England."

 Done all. Rusted AutoParts 00:58, 21 July 2020 (UTC)

Music

• "Danny Elfman was revealed to be composing the film's score." - perhaps rephrase to "Danny Elfman was announced as the film score composer."

 Done. Rusted AutoParts 01:02, 21 July 2020 (UTC)

• Genre in the infobox - would other genres be children's music or pop?

I’ve peeked at a few other film articles musical soundtracks infoboxes and they all just say film score. I think it’s best to keep it as just that as it’s mostly just the Elfman score. Rusted AutoParts 01:02, 21 July 2020 (UTC)

Home media

• "The film amongst several of Disney's recent release available to stream exclusively on Disney's streaming service, Disney+, on November 12, 2019, the launch date of the service." - might need rewording to be clearer and reduce repetition. eg. "The film is amongst several of Disney's recent releases available to watch exclusively on their streaming service, Disney+, which was launched in November 2019."

 Done. Rusted AutoParts 01:06, 21 July 2020 (UTC)

Critical response

• Are there any slightly more positive reviews? I know the film's response was quite mixed - but perhaps the first paragraph should be for positive/mixed reviews and the second paragraph negative ones.
• The performances of Danny DeVito and Michael Keaton received praise from critics." - do you think we should add "despite the film's mixed response" at the end of that caption?

On the reviews point, the reviews gathered were the ones I could gather to support the praise for Keaton and DeVito. Vast majority of the critic reviews I found leaned much more into the mixed range and didn’t really say much of note to add here.

I don’t believe it’s necessary, the caption is just in regards to the acting performances. Rusted AutoParts 01:04, 21 July 2020 (UTC)

Other comments

• The copyvio detector is flagging some paragraphs, eg. "Two elephant props were used during filming.." and "In January 2017, it was announced that Will Smith.." as being taken from the IMDb page (or perhaps IMDb is quoting this article?)

I think it’s pointing towards IMDB’s trivia section. I would consider it a little bit of a non issue as IMDB is also just reciting information gathered from other sources, and the way it’s written there is not exclusive to IMDB. Rusted AutoParts 00:46, 21 July 2020 (UTC)

Great, thanks for updates. Two more comments, (1) did you consider adding alt-text for all images? (2) In the third paragraph of the lede, should you clarify why the film underperformed? The box office figures, at a glance, suggests it was commercially successful. L150 10:20, 22 July 2020 (UTC)

@Lizzy150: added both to the page. Rusted AutoParts 21:54, 22 July 2020 (UTC)

Thanks, I've tweaked some of the wording, if that's okay. All in all, article is well-written and references are fine. Well illustrated and stays focused. Good luck with the rest of your film nominations! L150 10:14, 23 July 2020 (UTC)