Talk:Death/GA2

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: Etriusus (talk · contribs) 17:59, 24 March 2023 (UTC)

Lets get this review done.

Sourcing

There are a lot of sources missing

• This is difficult due to there being little consensus on how to define life.
• .. of life support devices, organ transplants, and artificial pacemakers.
• Even by whole-brain criteria, the determination of brain death can be complicated.

etc....

I have concerns about a few sources as well

• Encyclopedia Brittanica and Dictionary.com are WP:Tertiary sources, not the worst thing but does need justification
• Multiple sources have clean-up tags

Copy-vios

• Earwig is clear, will do spot checks when I get to it

Images

• The human skull is used universally as a symbol of death. not cited in the body
• A flower, a skull and an hourglass stand for life not cited
• In general, please cite images if the information isn't obvious/up to interpretation. Art is very subjective and a few of these captions are getting close to 'close paraphrasing'.

Prose

• Lead as a whole needs to be tightened up. Death is a level 2 vital article and there shouldn't be 2-3 sentence paragraphs for such an important topic
• WP:LEADCITE remove the repetitive citations from the lead, this isn't a major issue but should be pointed out
• There are a large number of articles that can be linked under a 'see main article' template. e.g. Brain Death, Grief, etc. The templates are inconsistent.
• "Problems of definition" change to just 'definition'
• The concept of death is a key to human understanding of the phenomenon. what does this mean?
  • This subsection is largely unnecessary, the definition sections should be merged together. Especially since some of the headers take a less than encyclopedic tone.
• development of CPR and prompt defibrillation have rendered that definition inadequate because breathing and heartbeat can sometimes be restarted appears to be WP:OR, the source is an army manual on how to do CPR
• Please review WP:WEASEL, a lot of weasel words
• so the volcano can be considered to be dead This is WP:OR and really stretching the concept of 'dead'. The term is 'extinct' and if you want to go down the road of anthropomorphising everything, you'll need a whole other article.

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Yah, I'm gonna call it here. The page need serious work, there are citations missing, the prose needs work, and the sections should be merged and expanded upon. I see you've made a couple of attempted to promote vital articles. I applaud the tenacity but recommend that you start on smaller articles and learn the ropes first. 🏵️Etrius ( Us) 19:14, 24 March 2023 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.