Talk:Blind (SZA song)/Archive 1

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Archive 1

Wiki Education assignment: Online Communities

This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 2 January 2023 and 24 March 2023. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Adrifaye (article contribs). Peer reviewers: Iander2, Hallekerickson, Jessiej12.

— Assignment last updated by Jessiej12 (talk) 00:05, 8 February 2023 (UTC)

WikiEdu

Hello, @User:Adrifaye, and welcome to Wikipedia! I am glad you have decided to contribute to Wikipedia, and as a huge fan of SZA myself I am especially glad you have chosen the article for "Blind" to edit for your course! Regarding your recent edits to the mainspace, I have a couple comments that you can use to improve the article:

You don't have to spell out SZA's real name in the lead. Most song articles only do this in the infobox, or that box on the right side of the screen - specifically in the songwriters section, as artists are credited as songwriters by their real names. For the rest of the article body, just stick to the stage name she uses. Same goes for Yuli.
Album titles like Ctrl and SOS, as well as magazine names like Billboard, are italicized.
There are some parts of your writing that are redundant. For example - "Fans waited 5 years for another album." The release years for Ctrl and SOS are already given elsewhere in the article, so this is unnecessary.
The background section goes into an unnecessary tangent about Ctrl, when really, the article should strictly focus on the topic in question. One of your peers, Jessiej12, pointed this out in their review. As much as possible, keep discussion about her debut album to a minimum; a brief history and overview of the album is enough. "and even listed to Ctrl so many times that it landed the number one spot on the Billboard's Top R&B album again in 2022" must be removed.
Other parts of the article, meanwhile, use puffery language. For example, "The lyrics were so highly appreciated by the public that it resulted in 'Blind' landing a spot on both the US Billboard Hot 100 and Billboard Global 200." Please rewrite these sentences in a more neutral manner in compliance with Wikipedia policy. See this guideline to help you with rewriting. You may turn to articles I've written about SZA, such as Smoking on My Ex Pack, for reference on how to summarize critical reception neutrally.

Those are the main points I have regarding your edits. If you need me to explain some of these points in more detail to help you improve the article, please ping me by typing "{{yo|Your Power}}" at the start of your message. Thank you, and happy editing! ‍ ‍ Elias 🌊 ‍ ‍ ^{💬 "Will you call me?"}
_{📝 "Will you hang me out to dry?"} 04:08, 11 February 2023 (UTC)

To use for reviews

Note to self - much of the praise here focuses on the track's vulnerable lyrics ‍ ‍ Elias 🌊 ‍ ‍ ^{💬 "Will you call me?"}
_{📝 "Will you hang me out to dry?"} 23:14, 5 February 2023 (UTC)

GA Review

Passed. Pseud 14 (talk) 03:33, 30 April 2024 (UTC)

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

This review is transcluded from Talk:Blind (SZA song)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: PSA (talk · contribs) 04:50, 23 April 2024 (UTC)

Reviewer: Pseud 14 (talk · contribs) 04:32, 29 April 2024 (UTC)

Happy to take this review. I will get to it within the week. Pseud 14 (talk) 04:32, 29 April 2024 (UTC)

Well written

Lead and infobox

Suggest adding {{short description}}
- Shortdesc is automatically generated by {{infobox song}}
The song's honest, personal songwriting -- The song's honest and personal songwriting
- "Honest" and "personal" here are coordinate adjectives, which are separated by a comma. This should be fine
with praise for its way of portraying love's contradictory nature. -- with priase for its portrayal of love's contradictory nature
- Smart; done
A top 40 song in a few countries, "Blind" debuted at number 3 on US Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs, where it and two other SOS tracks occupied the top three. -- "Blind" debuted at number 3 on US Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs, where it and two other SOS tracks occupied the top three, and reached the top 40 in a few countries.
- Done, while deviating a bit from the suggestion

Background

establishing her status as a major figure -- perhaps use prominent instead of major (or maybe an emerging talent)
- Prefer "prominent"
her first work as a sole lead artist in five years. -- as a solo artist in five years
- Done
Teased at the end of the "Good Days" music video was "Shirt", released as a single on October 28, 2022, and its video's outro featured a song fans began calling "Blind". -- does its video here refer to "Shirt"? If so, it needs to be clarified, i.e. the latter video's outro
- Yes

Music and production

with several vocal runs (melisma) -- I would link melisma to vocal runs instead of using the parenthetical. I don't see it being easter-eggy
- Fair enough

Lyrics

often with regards to validation by the self and by others -- validation of oneself and by others
- Done
Ex-boyfriend is mentioned at least three times in the second paragraph. Perhaps some alternative wording to avoid repetition
- Hope I got around this somewhat
Many SOS tracks incorporate wordplay and humorous pop culture references, and "Blind" is one of them. -- Many SOS tracks, including "Blind", incorporate..
- Done

Release

on set lists for her international SOS Tour -- on the set list of her SOS Tour. I think which runs from 2023 to 2024 can be dropped.
- The set lists were changing a lot between and within legs. E.g. "Ghost in the Machine" did not get love until New York City; "20 Something" was performed after Salt Lake City during the second NA leg; "Prom" and "DTM (Diamond Boy)" were September 2023 additions; "2AM" wasn't on the set list until SZA went down under; same with "Far". Apologies for the Twitter sources; no RS is cooperating especially the Australian ones. Concur with dropping the years + "international" descriptor though

Verifiable with no original research

Copyvio score of 28.6% is reasonable and attributed to quotations.
External link checker shows all references are up (except for the 1 properly marked as down which includes an archive link)
Reliable enough for the information being cited
Consistent date and proper reference formatting
Appropriate wikilinks where applicable
Ref 2 - The Recording Academy should probably not be italicized
- I read somewhere that the publisher template should not be used to bypass the italics (I swear it was a MOS thing but I can't recall which page)
Ref Ref 60 - link Billboard as you did with every instance|
- Done. FWIW GA reviews shouldn't necessarily feature these comments; as long as the citations are understable they should pass GA
  - While source quality is somewhat less strict in the GAN process. Source formatting standards remain the same across FA/FL/GA spaces, where works that are cited can be linked on the first instance or every instance, either is acceptable so long as it is consistent throughout the article.

Spotchecks

Ref 4 - ok
Ref 11 - ok
Ref 21 - ok
Ref 29 - consider putting the period outside of the quotation as you are not attributing the full sentence. Other than that no issues.
- Done
Ref 30 - ok
Ref 42 - ok
Ref 53 - in Dutch, but a little translation confirms chart placement - ok
Ref 61 - supports certification - ok

Broad in its coverage

All major aspects of the topic are broadly covered and is comprehensive.

Neutral

No issues on this front. Attributions provided where applicable.

Stable

No edits wars or content disputes from what I've checked.

Illustrated

File:SZA CTRL Tour Toronto 2017 10 (cropped).jpg - appropriately licensed in Commons
File:SZA - Blind song sample.ogg - satisfies WP:SAMPLE and provides contextual significance for its use in the section.

Summary

Another solid piece on your work with SZA-related articles. That will be all from me Pseud 14 (talk) 15:40, 29 April 2024 (UTC)

Thank you for the kind words, @Pseud 14. I hope all has been well with you since we last met. I have replied to all of your suggestions. ‍ PSA 🏕️ (talk) 23:30, 29 April 2024 (UTC)

Passing. Pseud 14 (talk) 03:29, 30 April 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.