Talk:Andy Harries/GA1
GA Review[edit]
First, let me say that I quite enjoyed reading this article; unsung heroes in the television/film world rarely have such insightful pieces dedicated to them, but this one is an exception. As far as the criteria goes, the article is well written for the most part, correctly formatted, factually accurate and well referenced, and of course it is neutral and stable. (Because there are currently no images, #6 doesn't apply.) I have a few specific comments and suggestions to make regarding the prose and several guidelines:
- Per WP:LEAD, there should be something in the intro reflecting the early life/education and personal life sections.
- Though he had spent 14 years with Granada, he became increasing dissatisfied with ITV... two things: "increasingly" and it would be helpful to link and give the full name of ITV here, since it is the first time it is mentioned.
- At university he developed an interest in music journalism, so wrote reviews for Melody Maker: the "so" is confusing here; "and wrote"? "journalism, writing reviews"?
- After leaving Hull Harries moved to London: comma after "Hull".
- I worry that the decade subsections do not give a concrete enough timeline. For example, what year did the assault on Steve Morrison occur? When did he meet Paul Greengrass? Don't shy away from giving specific years as it helps with clarification.
- While directing a corporate video for BT he met Jonathan Ross: same as above, when?
- They proposed it to Red Dwarf writer Rob Grant, who liked the idea. Dark Ages aired nightly...: this could be made clearer. Rather than "liked the idea", could it be explicitly stated that he took the job and the project was developed?
- In September 2000 Harries' portfolio was significantly expanded: comma after "2000".
- In May 2008 filming will begin on Peter Morgan's adaptation: comma after "2008".
Overall, this is in exceptional shape. Once my minor concerns have been addressed or otherwise satisfied, I'll happily promote this article to GA-class. If you have any questions about this review, please do contact me. For now I'll put the article on hold for the standard 7-ish day period. María (habla conmigo) 18:07, 6 June 2008 (UTC)
- Thanks for your comments. I've fixed the obvious spelling errors I should have spotted, added commas, re-written a couple of sentences and clarified Rob Grant's involvement in Dark Ages. Not including years isn't so much a matter of "shying away" as it is that exact years aren't available. A year for the news broadcast incident isn't available, though in the CUPS interview Harries says he was 23, so that would make it 1977/8. I've put his age in but not the year as that would be skirting WP:OR too much. There is no information available for the year he met Jonathan Ross, however I have included the year the show was first broadcast just to give an idea of which end of the decade it was. Bradley0110 (talk) 21:55, 7 June 2008 (UTC)