Talk:Camilo Cienfuegos/GA1
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GA Review[edit]
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: The Blue Rider (talk · contribs) 19:38, 5 March 2024 (UTC)
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Hello! Good to see a WP:VA biography being brought to GA status. I will try to post my first review until the end of this week. Thank you! The Blue Rider 19:38, 5 March 2024 (UTC)
- Thanks very much for taking this one! This is my fourth vital GA nomination. I'll be away over the weekend, so I'll probably get around to addressing your comments some time next week. --Grnrchst (talk) 10:12, 6 March 2024 (UTC)
- @The Blue Rider: Thanks for the review. I'm going to need a few more days to get around to addressing your comments, as I've come down with something during my time away. Once I've recovered, I'll get right to it. --Grnrchst (talk) 15:11, 12 March 2024 (UTC)
Lead[edit]
- "in some cases even being considered second only to Fidel himself" contradicts him being "widely considered second only to Fidel Castro".
- Per MOS:LEADLENGTH, it is reccomended that leads have 3 or 4 paragraphs, so I would suggest merging the first paragraph with the second.
Early life[edit]
- Add a wikilink to wreath.
- What type of illegal work did Camilo?
- Why/How did he join Fidel Castro's movement?
Guerrilla activities[edit]
Landing and first offensive[edit]
- Add wikilink to vanguard.
In Guevara's Column[edit]
- Substitute Sierra Maestra with region, in "over the region" and then start the next sentence with region.
- The armed groups are the revolutinaries, the national army or both? I also take issue with how the word anarchy is being used, I understand that its popular meaning is being used here but maybe substitute it with chaos.
- Add wikilink to Lalo Sardiñas.
- Remove the wikilink to vanguard since it will be linked in the above section.
- Add a Wikitionary link to "devil-may-care" since it's not a common expression.
- Add a inter wikilink to Juan Pablo Chang Navarro .
- This doesn't appear to be the same person. Juan Pablo Chang Navarro was killed in Bolivia in 1967, where this "Chino Chang" was executed in Cuba in 1957. --Grnrchst (talk) 12:36, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
- Ops! I guess there are two Chino Chang involved in guerrilas. The Blue Rider 12:54, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
- Add wikilink to insurgent.
Independent command[edit]
- Since Fulgencio Batista was only mentioned once in the Early life section add the first name in his first mention of this section.
- Add wikilink to death squad.
Las Villas Operation[edit]
- Remove duplicated wikilink from Popular Socialist Party (Cuba)
- Put the province name in Trinidad, since people might associate the town with the island, Trinidad, instead.
- Add wikilink to materiel.
Revolutionary victory[edit]
- Clarify that La Cabaña is a fortress.
- Do you think that Camp Columbia (Havana) merits a redlink?
- Added. Thankfully this note made me realised I had unconsciously hispanisied the name to "Colombia", but all the sources use the spelling "Columbia" because the base was originally established by the Americans during the first occupation of Cuba. Glad I caught this. --Grnrchst (talk) 12:53, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
- Add a Wikitionary link to "en-masse".
- Add a wikilink to Presidental Palace, Museum of the Revolution (Cuba).
After the Revolution[edit]
Initial activities[edit]
- Put the PSP acronym in paranthesis in the first instance of Popular Socialist Party of the section.
- The economic meaning of austerity isn't being used here, so remove the wikilink.
Consolidation of the Revolution[edit]
- All good here.
Huber Matos affair[edit]
- Why were the officers worried by the Castro's regime?
"Castro's consolidation of power, as well as the increasing role of the Popular Socialist Party in government, began to worry some officers in the Revolutionary Army"
Is this not clear enough? I thought it was pretty obvious. --Grnrchst (talk) 13:00, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
- I don't know why I missed that, but yes, it's pretty obvious. The Blue Rider 13:11, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
Disappearance[edit]
- All good here.
Character[edit]
Personality[edit]
- Is Hugh Thomas, Hugh Thomas, Baron Thomas of Swynnerton? If so, add a wikilink.
- Was Cienfuegos gay/bisexual? If so, clarify that since two quotes describe him as gay and other as having a love of women.
- This sections relies too much on quotations, try to rephrase it.
Political ideology[edit]
- All good here.
Leadership style[edit]
- This section relies too much on quotations, try to rephrase them.
- The quotations here and in the personality section were two places where I felt it very difficult to put it into wikivoice, because these reflections almost always come from personal perspectives. I can give it a go, but I already struggled with it in the first place. --Grnrchst (talk) 16:47, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
- Maybe try to say, "According to X Cienfuegas was Y or X described Cienfuegos has Y. If that doesn't work then it's fine. The Blue Rider 18:08, 14 March 2024 (UTC)
Legacy[edit]
Speculation about disappearance[edit]
- All good here.
Friends and family[edit]
- All good here.
Memorial dedications[edit]
- Add a wikilink to diorama.
Popular culture[edit]
- This section seems to be lacking for a highly popular figure, isn't there more pop culture depictions of him?
Image(s)[edit]
- All images are correctly tagged and have suitable captions, pass!
Stability[edit]
- Some reverts here and there but overall stable, pass!
Sources[edit]
- All source numbers are from this version. Checked sources 1, 2, 3, 9, 21, 23, 41, 48, 58, 103, 117, 118, 191 and 233.
- Source 1 is no longer available.
- Source 9, especifically Quirk, says some run away to the mountains and other to the south, the text only has the former.
Copyvio[edit]
- Earwig's Copyvio Detector points to 10,7% due to some partially copied sentences, I suggest them to be rephrased.
Infobox[edit]
- Infobox seems fine.
- @The Blue Rider: Hey, is there anything else you think I need to do? --Grnrchst (talk) 12:50, 19 March 2024 (UTC)
- No, everything is in order! Good job on the article. You are missed at WP:VA! The Blue Rider 02:13, 21 March 2024 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.